From the 2014 VICE Photo Issue: Thomas Albdorf’s Walk in the Woods

My Parents Had a Party

From the 2014 VICE Photo Issue: Walk in the Woods
Thomas Albdorf makes beautiful images and then gives them titles like this: “The Blooming of the Daffodil Flower Between May and June Leads Many Tourists Towards Lunzer Lake.” Get into it!

From the 2014 VICE Photo Issue: Walk in the Woods

Thomas Albdorf makes beautiful images and then gives them titles like this: “The Blooming of the Daffodil Flower Between May and June Leads Many Tourists Towards Lunzer Lake.” Get into it!

vicenews:

"Whether they like it or not, we will enforce Sharia in this land."In the final part of The Islamic State, we journey from Raqqa, Syria to the border with Iraq where fighters are bulldozing the boundary.

vicenews:

"Whether they like it or not, we will enforce Sharia in this land."

In the final part of The Islamic State, we journey from Raqqa, Syria to the border with Iraq where fighters are bulldozing the boundary.

My Parents Had a Party
My Parents Had a Party, Long Island, NY
 
Last summer, my parents decided to throw a party to celebrate life. I wasn’t quite sure what my mom had planned other than an entertaining night with good food and company. As I entered my parents’ house that evening, I was greeted by a little person my mom had hired from an adult entertainment agency. He was dressed as a cop and demanded that each arriving and unsuspecting guest show his or her ID… or else.
 
OK, a little weird, but nothing too extreme. As the party continued, two of the cocktail waitresses and one of the male servers started taking off their clothing, and suddenly they were naked and the lap dances and the tequila ice-luge/body-shot demonstrations began. At first, many of their guests were unsure of how to react to the nakedness around them. I, for one, was amused and a bit surprised to see adults whom I have known my entire life getting smothered in breasts and bathed in booze at my parents’ house.
 
As the night progressed, two additional strippers arrived to perform for the guests, and the little person quickly stripped down to join in the show. Slowly and surely, more and more guests began to loosen up and really experience the celebration of zany fun that my mom had planned from the start. The hours went by fast; everyone was merrily drunk, including the dog sitter. After a long night of hard partying, the talent was paid, the guests sent off with coffee, and we all went to bed. The next morning may have been even more fun as we conducted the post-party critique, with mom wearing the little person’s uniform, which he had somehow forgoten to take home that night. 
 

 

 

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My Parents Had a Party

My Parents Had a Party, Long Island, NY
 
Last summer, my parents decided to throw a party to celebrate life. I wasn’t quite sure what my mom had planned other than an entertaining night with good food and company. As I entered my parents’ house that evening, I was greeted by a little person my mom had hired from an adult entertainment agency. He was dressed as a cop and demanded that each arriving and unsuspecting guest show his or her ID… or else.
 
OK, a little weird, but nothing too extreme. As the party continued, two of the cocktail waitresses and one of the male servers started taking off their clothing, and suddenly they were naked and the lap dances and the tequila ice-luge/body-shot demonstrations began. At first, many of their guests were unsure of how to react to the nakedness around them. I, for one, was amused and a bit surprised to see adults whom I have known my entire life getting smothered in breasts and bathed in booze at my parents’ house.
 
As the night progressed, two additional strippers arrived to perform for the guests, and the little person quickly stripped down to join in the show. Slowly and surely, more and more guests began to loosen up and really experience the celebration of zany fun that my mom had planned from the start. The hours went by fast; everyone was merrily drunk, including the dog sitter. After a long night of hard partying, the talent was paid, the guests sent off with coffee, and we all went to bed. The next morning may have been even more fun as we conducted the post-party critique, with mom wearing the little person’s uniform, which he had somehow forgoten to take home that night. 
 
 
 

Continue

Artists Pay Tribute to Robin Williams
Although you might have never uttered the words “I’m a huge Robin Williams fan,” I could probably rattle off at least five of his movies that you love, or that at the least made you very happy for a while. Robin Williams was omnipresent through a lot of our childhoods. Somehow, through the range and progression of his roles, he was able to rise up and meet my generation at whatever level of maturation we were at, from the age of about four onward until he stopped existing.
Learning how to channel grief is hard, especially when it’s over someone you didn’t know personally. I draw pictures, as do a lot of people I know. Robin Williams was a fan of comics and illustration, so I asked people to submit drawings of him in tribute.
Out of hundreds of submissions, here are the 15 I thought were best.
Image above: Alex Fine

Johnny Ryan
 

Nick Gazin

Brian Butler

Killer Acid
Continue

Artists Pay Tribute to Robin Williams

Although you might have never uttered the words “I’m a huge Robin Williams fan,” I could probably rattle off at least five of his movies that you love, or that at the least made you very happy for a while. Robin Williams was omnipresent through a lot of our childhoods. Somehow, through the range and progression of his roles, he was able to rise up and meet my generation at whatever level of maturation we were at, from the age of about four onward until he stopped existing.

Learning how to channel grief is hard, especially when it’s over someone you didn’t know personally. I draw pictures, as do a lot of people I know. Robin Williams was a fan of comics and illustration, so I asked people to submit drawings of him in tribute.

Out of hundreds of submissions, here are the 15 I thought were best.

Image above: Alex Fine

Johnny Ryan
 

Nick Gazin

Brian Butler

Killer Acid

Continue



The Humongous Fungus Among Us Issue was primarily sponsored by two competing children’s whiskey brands. The other one was Detention.

The Humongous Fungus Among Us Issue was primarily sponsored by two competing children’s whiskey brands. The other one was Detention.

Hillary Clinton’s Foreign Policy Is Already Terrifying
The Iraq War sank Hillary Clinton when she ran for president in 2008. The former first lady and then-US Senator’s refusal to call her vote authorizing the invasion a mistake made her seem just enough like a George W. Bush clone to alienate liberal Democrats and hand some guy named Barack Obama their party’s nomination. But she doesn’t seem to have taken the rejection to heart, and may have actually become even more prone to saber-rattling since.
In a recent interview with the The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg, the former Secretary of State talked Syria, Israel, Iraq, and the Obama Doctrine—if that’s really what we’re calling it now. In addition to all but admitting she is ready to run for the most powerful office on planet Earth two years from now, Clinton sounded a nostalgic tone for the bellicose American rhetoric of the Cold War, defended Israel’s latest brutal assault on Gaza, and knocked Obama for not meddling in foreign conflicts more often.
“Great nations need organizing principles, and ‘Don’t do stupid stuff’ is not an organizing principle,” Clinton said, offering her most aggressive criticism yet of Obama’s famously (some would say toxically) “pragmatic” approach to the world. “You know, we did a good job in containing the Soviet Union, but we made a lot of mistakes, we supported really nasty guys, we did some things that we are not particularly proud of, from Latin America to Southeast Asia, but we did have a kind of overarching framework about what we were trying to do that did lead to the defeat of the Soviet Union and the collapse of Communism. That was our objective. We achieved it.”
Continue

Hillary Clinton’s Foreign Policy Is Already Terrifying

The Iraq War sank Hillary Clinton when she ran for president in 2008. The former first lady and then-US Senator’s refusal to call her vote authorizing the invasion a mistake made her seem just enough like a George W. Bush clone to alienate liberal Democrats and hand some guy named Barack Obama their party’s nomination. But she doesn’t seem to have taken the rejection to heart, and may have actually become even more prone to saber-rattling since.

In a recent interview with the The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg, the former Secretary of State talked Syria, Israel, Iraq, and the Obama Doctrine—if that’s really what we’re calling it now. In addition to all but admitting she is ready to run for the most powerful office on planet Earth two years from now, Clinton sounded a nostalgic tone for the bellicose American rhetoric of the Cold War, defended Israel’s latest brutal assault on Gaza, and knocked Obama for not meddling in foreign conflicts more often.

“Great nations need organizing principles, and ‘Don’t do stupid stuff’ is not an organizing principle,” Clinton said, offering her most aggressive criticism yet of Obama’s famously (some would say toxically) “pragmatic” approach to the world. “You know, we did a good job in containing the Soviet Union, but we made a lot of mistakes, we supported really nasty guys, we did some things that we are not particularly proud of, from Latin America to Southeast Asia, but we did have a kind of overarching framework about what we were trying to do that did lead to the defeat of the Soviet Union and the collapse of Communism. That was our objective. We achieved it.”

Continue

I Got My Pussy Stoned with Weed Lube
I’m not a big pot person. I can’t really find my “therapeutic window” when it comes to smoking weed. I know exactly how much cocaine or meth I can handle in one sitting and morphine doses will ebb and flow with the consistency of my usage, but when it comes to smoking weed, every single toke is one too many, and I end up getting so “in my head” that I want to jump through an open window. I sound like my dad now, but pot is c-r-a-z-y these days. It’s goddamn super-pot. Pot on speed. Pot enhanced with more pot and then thrown in a bouncy castle blender of THC and shaken up to be even stronger. I’ll do any drug in the world, but I usually shake my head “no” to a bong.
So, when I heard about Foria, the world’s first cannabis lube designed especially to enhance female sexual pleasure, I thought that this would be an excellent way to beat my pot fear. My head wouldn’t be doing the work, my vagina would, and I trust my vagina more than I trust my head.
Last week in Los Angeles, I met up with Matthew Gerson, Foria’s creator (or “Wellness Director” as he is referred to by his collective, The Aphrodite Group). After I emailed Foria asking for samples for my story, he was eager to hang out and talk about his creation.
Gerson has this theory about females, sexuality, and plants. I think I’m with him.
“I have some marijuana plants growing right now,” he explained. “And you spend time with this plant; it’s a fascinating weed. Marijuana is essentially a very horny female plant. It’s the female that is harvested and secretes the fluid, wants to be pollinated, and when it’s pollinated becomes stressed out and produces more and more. There’s this weird connection between the human female and the female plant. We have evolved with plants. We have a receptor that successfully absorbs THC. We have that capacity to absorb the pollen the plant secretes because our physiology co-evolved.”
Continue

I Got My Pussy Stoned with Weed Lube

I’m not a big pot person. I can’t really find my “therapeutic window” when it comes to smoking weed. I know exactly how much cocaine or meth I can handle in one sitting and morphine doses will ebb and flow with the consistency of my usage, but when it comes to smoking weed, every single toke is one too many, and I end up getting so “in my head” that I want to jump through an open window. I sound like my dad now, but pot is c-r-a-z-y these days. It’s goddamn super-pot. Pot on speed. Pot enhanced with more pot and then thrown in a bouncy castle blender of THC and shaken up to be even stronger. I’ll do any drug in the world, but I usually shake my head “no” to a bong.

So, when I heard about Foria, the world’s first cannabis lube designed especially to enhance female sexual pleasure, I thought that this would be an excellent way to beat my pot fear. My head wouldn’t be doing the work, my vagina would, and I trust my vagina more than I trust my head.

Last week in Los Angeles, I met up with Matthew Gerson, Foria’s creator (or “Wellness Director” as he is referred to by his collective, The Aphrodite Group). After I emailed Foria asking for samples for my story, he was eager to hang out and talk about his creation.

Gerson has this theory about females, sexuality, and plants. I think I’m with him.

“I have some marijuana plants growing right now,” he explained. “And you spend time with this plant; it’s a fascinating weed. Marijuana is essentially a very horny female plant. It’s the female that is harvested and secretes the fluid, wants to be pollinated, and when it’s pollinated becomes stressed out and produces more and more. There’s this weird connection between the human female and the female plant. We have evolved with plants. We have a receptor that successfully absorbs THC. We have that capacity to absorb the pollen the plant secretes because our physiology co-evolved.”

Continue

vicenews:

Convert, pay a tax or face death.
Christians are entitled to live in the Islamic State — with certain provisions.

vicenews:

Convert, pay a tax or face death.

Christians are entitled to live in the Islamic State — with certain provisions.

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