Every week Richard Kern invites us to his L.E.S. apartment where we go through a huge box of archival photographs from his long and checkered career. This week’s featured model is Jannie, an aspiring writer who plays with prophylactics.
VICE: Is that fake?Richard: I mean, it’s a real condom, but the cum is completely fake.
How do you go about making fake cum?Cetaphil.It’s face washing stuff.
Is that what everyone in porn uses?I think a lot of people use it. The consistency is a bit thicker than cum, though. I’ve used it a bunch of times. People also use glue, but Cetaphil looks pretty real. 
It looks too white.I was watching this 80s porn the other day. The only cum shot in the whole thing was when this actress got hit in the face over and over again. It looked like some guy was squirting the cum out of a syringe. It was so obvious, but I guess that worked back in the 80s. This photo is a bit more believable. When you first saw it, what did you think?
I thought, “I hate those things.”Yeah, exactly. I’m always curious to see if they’ll put it on.
Where was this shot?This is in her house in Long Island. She had very specific times when we could shoot. Her parents would go to work and her skater brother came home at three, so I’d drive out there and shoot her during the day. I shot her there like five times.
I’d hate for her parents to come home.I know, man. Or the brother! She was raised in a super traditional Asian household, but she was a great model in that she just didn’t give a fuck about what we shot. I shot all kinds of crazy stuff with her. I had a photo in the book Model Release of a girl with a condom hanging from her puss with fake cum dripping out of it. That shot sold really well, so I figured I’d try it again and shot Jannie lying down with this big, gigantic condom—the size I use, by the way—on her stomach.

Every week Richard Kern invites us to his L.E.S. apartment where we go through a huge box of archival photographs from his long and checkered career. This week’s featured model is Jannie, an aspiring writer who plays with prophylactics.

VICE: Is that fake?
Richard: I mean, it’s a real condom, but the cum is completely fake.

How do you go about making fake cum?
Cetaphil.It’s face washing stuff.

Is that what everyone in porn uses?
I think a lot of people use it. The consistency is a bit thicker than cum, though. I’ve used it a bunch of times. People also use glue, but Cetaphil looks pretty real. 

It looks too white.
I was watching this 80s porn the other day. The only cum shot in the whole thing was when this actress got hit in the face over and over again. It looked like some guy was squirting the cum out of a syringe. It was so obvious, but I guess that worked back in the 80s. This photo is a bit more believable. When you first saw it, what did you think?

I thought, “I hate those things.”
Yeah, exactly. I’m always curious to see if they’ll put it on.

Where was this shot?
This is in her house in Long Island. She had very specific times when we could shoot. Her parents would go to work and her skater brother came home at three, so I’d drive out there and shoot her during the day. I shot her there like five times.

I’d hate for her parents to come home.
I know, man. Or the brother! She was raised in a super traditional Asian household, but she was a great model in that she just didn’t give a fuck about what we shot. I shot all kinds of crazy stuff with her. I had a photo in the book Model Release of a girl with a condom hanging from her puss with fake cum dripping out of it. That shot sold really well, so I figured I’d try it again and shot Jannie lying down with this big, gigantic condom—the size I use, by the way—on her stomach.


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