If you’ve lived in New York City during the reign of three-term Mayor Michael Bloomberg, you’ve witnessed his efforts to make the city more “livable.” Bloomberg’s ideal New York consists of thin, athletic doctors, lawyers, and hedge fund managers biking along properly designated bike routes and having genial, profanity-free conversations about how awful cigarettes are and how great Mike Bloomberg is. If these hale, financially-secure professionals encounter a bag left unattended or a homeless person, they immediately inform the NYPD via Bluetooth, and the cops silently appear—as if melting out of the walls—and dispose of the problem. “Whatever happened to that homeless guy we saw?” one of the bikers will ask as he sips on a smoothie made from locally-sourced ingredients inside the penthouse of a LEED Gold-certified building. “Oh, he was turned into clean-burning energy,” another will say as he logs on Bloomberg.com to get breaking financial news and analysis. “Aren’t Fuhrer Bloomberg’s policies great?” Then they will laugh, flashing their perfect teeth in the warm glow of the energy-efficient lighting fixtures.
