A cat that woke 4 minutes ago from a nightmare in which he was on extremely large doses of Xanax and Adderall and alcohol at a Christmas party, embarrassing himself in front of his owners and owners’ friends and relatives and all their children by repeatedly rubbing his crotch against people’s heads and faces (by climbing sofas and tables and jumping onto people’s shoulders and clutching their necks and heads or leaping directly toward the heads and faces of small children) while obliviously meowing in an extremely loud, nearly non-stop, frighteningly unseemly manner. His “suspicious” expression and somewhat “stricken” posture (as depicted above) has been sustained without change for almost the entire 4 minutes since waking, during which he has been replaying and studying certain details from his nightmare in an effort (involving decreasing confidence, in part because he has been staring across the room at a Christmas tree that has seemed increasingly dream-like) to confirm, to any believable degree, that it really was a nightmare and not something that happened last night or a few nights ago.
Previously - Gollum’s “Suicide Stash”
