Every time I start dating someone new, I get déjà vu. Why does this feel so familiar? Oh right, because I date the same brooding artists over and over again. I like them skinny and sensitive, the more introverted, the better. What’s that? You can’t make eye contact and seem gay? Get inside me!
But enough is enough. It’s 2012, I’m approaching 30, and it’s time to take a risk. I’ll always be attracted to an ethereal wisp but I need something new. I decided to do an experiment. I would go on a dating site, find someone who is the complete opposite of my type, and go out with him. It could turn out as the worst date of my life or the best “how did you two meet?” story in history. Either way, this kind of flimsy premise works in every single rom-com so obviously it is going to work for me.
If you are not familiar with OKCupid (don’t lie), next to every profile picture there are three percentages. The numbers represent the likelihood of that person being a match, friend, or enemy. The enemy number is fascinating. What do you mean this person is 15% my enemy? What constitutes an enemy, anyway? According to dictionary.com, it is “a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another.” So, I’m basically going to go on a date with my stepmom. Awesome.
As I started browsing guys, all the profiles that came up had very low enemy ratings. I couldn’t find anyone with more than eight percent. Logically, that’s how a dating site works. It tries to match you up with people who share your values and opinions. That is what most people want. But for this project, savvy computer programming was an obstacle. To circumvent this, I had to create a fake profile that reflected the opposite of how I really feel. Below is a small sample of questions I answered falsely:
Do you believe homosexuality is a sin? Yes.
Do you think creationism should be taught alongside evolution in schools? Yes.
Do you like having intellectual conversations? No.
Would you rather be considered weird or normal? Normal.
How important is religion in your life? Very important.