Now that at least a few people realize that the Onion is satire, brilliant evangelical-posing site Christwire.org has stepped up to get the Internet all worked up. (The site’s tagline, “Conservative values for an unsaved world,” is particularly excellent.) The site’s latest goof, “Does Your Child “Sissy Bounce”? The Dangerous Anal Dance Trend Sweeping America’s Colleges”, has the perfect mix of a headline that’s Huffingtonian in its glaring SEO-baiting as well as the type of straightforward (if horribly racist) statement-making that’s become de rigueur in the faux-authoritative writing of hyper-conservative jerkasses. Witness the absurdity:
In black culture, the buttocks are a common element of arousal (oddly enough, they call it “the booty”). They find the filthy track of the colon a more convenient alleyway of intercourse due to their abnormally large penises. This also works when the woman is already pregnant, which is a very frequent situation in the African American urban environment. For this reason, the “Sissy Dance” sometimes involves a man pretending to be a female by presenting his anus for inspection by the group. He will shake it and wave it, grind it and bounce it. All his efforts are meant to convince either the homosexual or heterosexual black men to attempt sodomy on the man’s tight anus. Often this happens immediately after in the disco’s bathroom or in the parking lot.
As absurd as that is, what’s more absurd is that person after person (after person, afterperson, ad infinitum) thinks it’s real. (Sissy bounce itself is a real thing, by the way, although it’s not exactly how Christwire describes it.) Hell, maybe Christwire is serious, in one of the most elaborate bait-and-switches ever, but I doubt it. But the very fact that people are questioning whether something so outlandish is real or not says a whole lot about the state of editorial content on the web.