Girl News - Girls and Fucking Up
It’s important to have a sense of your whole self (“whole self” is something I picked up when I started taking people who do yoga seriously about a year ago) when considering failure, to know that failure and fucking up are just the other side of every Sunny Delight of life. We learned that in Star Wars already.
I recommend singing the “at you BAYYYYYbee” part of Girl Nation’s current national anthem if you get bummed out a little bit while we’re doing this.
BREAKFAST
I don’t know about you, but eating a handful of candy for breakfast over and over again and expecting different feelings/results is the definition of something I will probably continue to do. Private to all those girls and gays who histrionically email me that “I think that I could really benefit from you being my mentor” (actual quote; also, a complete and mathematical justification for why people younger than me are worse than me, in that I knew why not to write that email when I was still in days-of-the-week undapants): instead, email me something about how you’d benefit from following me around with a fresh-lemon ice water and good sashimi and enforcing some kind of sleep schedule and also emailing my friends back, really nice emails, not just random splooges devoid of meaning and sentiment; if you did that I’d just hand over my keys and spend every Saturday line-editing your blog, OK?
TAXONOMY
I don’t know if I am or what kind I am, if I’m even a fuck-up at all. Can I be? Is there a continuum? I have never run out of gas or lost my wallet and I over-tip, and for every night I ever spent shivering on the floor of a warehouse I spent another in a curl on a couch watching my mom knit, which is also probably how I got to be a grownie without differentiating from my parents. I would say I’m a successful adult with a gnarly crying habit. Yeah?
THE FEMALE FUCK-UP
The arena of failure is gender neutral—girls do not “rule” and boys do not “suck” and how about we start shaking hands with everyone all the time, like in church or at Brownies, acknowledging that the human experience is one of crucial, defining failures that only incidentally align with gendered expectations—but the pop-culture fuck-up scene is totally male-dominated. Girls are to yearn, to lament, to keen, to want; in songs and movies and everything except TV (TV rules! TV TV TV!), female archetypes that are failures are girls who have had failure done to them, agency-less. This is a bigger, badder thing, about what a woman can be and can’t be (dudes can be everything, mostly, without social consequence), and how the worst thing to be is the kind of fuck-up who exists outside of a nurturing, care-taking, sweetie-pie-mommy-dollface schema; a woman being an active failure just because she sucks or is lazy or stupid or irresponsible or arrogant or has been felled by circumstance doesn’t play the same.
In real life (because fuck movies and also fuck an enormous, enormously boring system that fucks us, boringly), failure and fucking up is supposed to be sexily construed, like, girls who are super-good at everything have to self-deprecate themselves into little crumbly potholes; girls who are not super-good at much at all, or just currently drunk, should be a babe while they fall on the sidewalk or else they’re an embarrassing mess. Live fast, die young, stay pretty, etc. The narratives around this are hysterically Disney-pre-determined, too: Bad girls reforming and going good (because of a boy!) or good girls going bad (because of a boy!) pretend to be interesting girl-stories but are just controlled rebelliousness. The fact that greatness and weakness of course exist in the same girl-person is just missing.And, yes, it is obviously dumb and limiting that a loud, pukey dude will still be considered charismatic and fun while his girl-proxy better have a good band (and even then…) but I’ve definitely had some Camille Paglia-cum-pearl-clutching-sorority house mother shit to say about girls who party too visibly hard. S’gross for everybody, and maybe also has something to do with how much less worldly achievement is expected from girls, so there will be commensurately fewer avenues for fucking-up, for expressions of rebellion and transgression and difference. Actually, forget it; I’m right, but the truth of it is at once exhaustingly urgent and boring.
Anyway, that preamble was intended to lead to here, where my friend Paul is reading A Visit From the Goon Squad right now after I suggested it three times (this is just like when I tell guys who only read Charles “THIS IS SO BORING, JUST SO BORING, SO SO SO BORING, DID YOUR DAD WATCH SPORTS OR SOMETHING?” Bukowski to grow up and try Alice Walker or Harold Brodkey and they eventually do and their penis grows four inches; like, thank me later) and emailed me about how excited he was to “read about female losers for once.” Uuuunngh that book is so good. Uh uh uh uh. Until the end. But, yeah, Goon Squad and Young Adult did a lot recently for high-low representations of really physically attractive female life losers.
CONTINUE

Girl News - Girls and Fucking Up

It’s important to have a sense of your whole self (“whole self” is something I picked up when I started taking people who do yoga seriously about a year ago) when considering failure, to know that failure and fucking up are just the other side of every Sunny Delight of life. We learned that in Star Wars already.

I recommend singing the “at you BAYYYYYbee” part of Girl Nation’s current national anthem if you get bummed out a little bit while we’re doing this.

BREAKFAST

I don’t know about you, but eating a handful of candy for breakfast over and over again and expecting different feelings/results is the definition of something I will probably continue to do. Private to all those girls and gays who histrionically email me that “I think that I could really benefit from you being my mentor” (actual quote; also, a complete and mathematical justification for why people younger than me are worse than me, in that I knew why not to write that email when I was still in days-of-the-week undapants): instead, email me something about how you’d benefit from following me around with a fresh-lemon ice water and good sashimi and enforcing some kind of sleep schedule and also emailing my friends back, really nice emails, not just random splooges devoid of meaning and sentiment; if you did that I’d just hand over my keys and spend every Saturday line-editing your blog, OK?

TAXONOMY

I don’t know if I am or what kind I am, if I’m even a fuck-up at all. Can I be? Is there a continuum? I have never run out of gas or lost my wallet and I over-tip, and for every night I ever spent shivering on the floor of a warehouse I spent another in a curl on a couch watching my mom knit, which is also probably how I got to be a grownie without differentiating from my parents. I would say I’m a successful adult with a gnarly crying habit. Yeah?

THE FEMALE FUCK-UP

The arena of failure is gender neutral—girls do not “rule” and boys do not “suck” and how about we start shaking hands with everyone all the time, like in church or at Brownies, acknowledging that the human experience is one of crucial, defining failures that only incidentally align with gendered expectations—but the pop-culture fuck-up scene is totally male-dominated. Girls are to yearn, to lament, to keen, to want; in songs and movies and everything except TV (TV rules! TV TV TV!), female archetypes that are failures are girls who have had failure done to them, agency-less. This is a bigger, badder thing, about what a woman can be and can’t be (dudes can be everything, mostly, without social consequence), and how the worst thing to be is the kind of fuck-up who exists outside of a nurturing, care-taking, sweetie-pie-mommy-dollface schema; a woman being an active failure just because she sucks or is lazy or stupid or irresponsible or arrogant or has been felled by circumstance doesn’t play the same.

In real life (because fuck movies and also fuck an enormous, enormously boring system that fucks us, boringly), failure and fucking up is supposed to be sexily construed, like, girls who are super-good at everything have to self-deprecate themselves into little crumbly potholes; girls who are not super-good at much at all, or just currently drunk, should be a babe while they fall on the sidewalk or else they’re an embarrassing mess. Live fast, die young, stay pretty, etc. The narratives around this are hysterically Disney-pre-determined, too: Bad girls reforming and going good (because of a boy!) or good girls going bad (because of a boy!) pretend to be interesting girl-stories but are just controlled rebelliousness. The fact that greatness and weakness of course exist in the same girl-person is just missing.And, yes, it is obviously dumb and limiting that a loud, pukey dude will still be considered charismatic and fun while his girl-proxy better have a good band (and even then…) but I’ve definitely had some Camille Paglia-cum-pearl-clutching-sorority house mother shit to say about girls who party too visibly hard. S’gross for everybody, and maybe also has something to do with how much less worldly achievement is expected from girls, so there will be commensurately fewer avenues for fucking-up, for expressions of rebellion and transgression and difference. Actually, forget it; I’m right, but the truth of it is at once exhaustingly urgent and boring.

Anyway, that preamble was intended to lead to here, where my friend Paul is reading A Visit From the Goon Squad right now after I suggested it three times (this is just like when I tell guys who only read Charles “THIS IS SO BORING, JUST SO BORING, SO SO SO BORING, DID YOUR DAD WATCH SPORTS OR SOMETHING?” Bukowski to grow up and try Alice Walker or Harold Brodkey and they eventually do and their penis grows four inches; like, thank me later) and emailed me about how excited he was to “read about female losers for once.” Uuuunngh that book is so good. Uh uh uh uh. Until the end. But, yeah, Goon Squad and Young Adult did a lot recently for high-low representations of really physically attractive female life losers.

CONTINUE

Notes:

  1. beyondthestarsoxox reblogged this from vicemag
  2. beyondthestarsoxox said: lol i hope you get back togerther
  3. interleannet reblogged this from vicemag
  4. lostleilita reblogged this from vicemag
  5. earlootingdegenerate reblogged this from vicemag
  6. asyndetic said: Ahh, gotta love when they
  7. gogoartqueen reblogged this from katecarraway and added:
    "Failure as decadence, as an anticipated and wanted element of a cool, fun experience—love, sex, work, pals, doing...
  8. moonhowler56 reblogged this from vicemag
  9. poe4eva reblogged this from bunnybundy
  10. kristascruggs reblogged this from vicemag
  11. masscrass reblogged this from vicemag and added:
    I digg
  12. ipullout88 reblogged this from vicemag