Scott Disick: American Psycho
We first encountered Scott Disick in 2007, four minutes into the series premiere of Keeping up with the Kardashians, a show about sunglasses, insincerity, and women exiting sport utility vehicles. He is having dinner with his girlfriend, Kourtney Kardashian, at a restaurant called Roy’s Hawaiian Fusion. Kourtney spends most of the meal trying to check her phone and applying shiny globs of lip gloss. Once or twice, she says something like “You’re so awful” or “I love this,” stone-faced, because the first rule of being a Kardashian is to never display a real human emotion, unless that emotion involves crying, because the E! Channel has determined that female tears are what America drinks to quench its thirst for People Feeling Feelings.
Scott has on a comically oversized button-down, unbuttoned to a region we’ll call Enrique Iglesias Music Video. He is wearing cufflinks just slightly smaller than manhole covers. He speaks to the waiter in a dismissive, I’ll-take-it-from-here-bro tone. The screen cuts to a plate of complicated sushi rolls, then to Scott drinking wine. Stock music plays and the scene begins to end in that comfortingly telegraphed reality show way, but first, Scott tells Kourtney her hair looks nice. Then, if only for a moment, she sort of smiles.