For something all of them agree that No One Cares About, sport-pundit types tend to get awfully riled up by the NBA’s All-Star Weekend. Some mustard-stained grump-o local newspaper columnist will fret over a perceived uptick in crime for the host city, and national columnists will draw up whimsical plans for “saving” the game, or the weekend, or the NBA itself—which, despite record revenues and high ratings, is another thing they are certain No One Cares About. Radio guys will be odious and wrong and dead certain about some shit they obviously don’t care about. ESPN’s Bill Simmons should be counted on for another wide-eyed, faintly skeeve-inducing Safari Among the Urban People domestic travelogue, and fearless Fox Sports truth-teller Jason Whitlock (last seen in this space fearlessly telling jokes about Asian men’s peeners) might run one of his NBA All-Star Weekend Makes Me Despair for the Future of My Race columns up the troll-pole and see who salutes. For something that so definitively doesn’t matter, the NBA’s All-Star Game still makes some people pretty pissy.
Read: All-Star Weakened