HERE’S @DadBoner’s 2013 TIPS ON HOW TO ROCK IT FOR THE SUPES’ CELEBRAISH, YOU GUYS
1. Invite as many babes as poss-ee-blay. Make sure to add in some grossouts so the top shelf ones’ll know you’re sensitive and not just out to get busy (wink). Plus, any real macho man on the prowl makes a mistake from time to time. Ran into this one babe with mega buttcheeks at the grocery store a few ticks back. Ended up havin’ casual “hot dog” carnal passions. Just peener ‘n buns. It was chill, but I’m tryin’ to keep it hush-hush. Guy code.
2. Turn the sound off during that Beyonce halftime action; just keep the picture loud and clear. Maybes crank up some Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man while you’re peepin’ that righteous caramel caboose, piled high with all the toppings.
3. Don’t spend it with your fam. They’re only good for ruinin’ holidays like Christmas. Such a snooze.
4. Make sure to stock up on D’Reets (at least 3 flaves), re’glar chips ‘n dip (Dean’s F.O.), back up ‘za (supreme), maybes a bunch of The Bell if you can get some idiot go for it midgame in an “I buy, you fly, capacity,” Li’l Smokies in the Crock, Chili Cheese dip, brats for grillin’, pizza rolls, also, plenty of other snacks as well. The works. Full spread.