ICYMI: I wrote a piece for VICE about fertilizing some plants with my menstrual blood and it kinda pissed off a lot of people. It also marks my highest-paid published piece to date, so. Grab you a copy at yr local American Apparel or other fine outlets…? Also! I’m getting settled in Atlanta and back online. Hi.
Also, my good friend Joey Prince shot for the story and you should really follow his awesome work via Instagram.
I Fertilized Lettuce With My Period Blood, Then Made a Salad
In college, a friend who didn’t shave her armpits lent me her copy of Inga Muscio’s feminist treatise Cunt: A Declaration of Independence. Paging through it instantly gave me a ton of great ideas, like supporting female-run businesses and LGBT rights and checking out my vagina with a compact mirror. Then there were some I wasn’t immediately sold on, like abortion via reflexology and, more specifically, using menstrual blood as plant fertilizer.
The period-blood-fertilizer reference is buried among descriptions of alternative feminine-care products: “You can squeeze the blood out into a jar, fill it with water, and feed it to your houseplants, who… [a friend] assured me, ‘absolutely adore the stuff.’” Shocked, I googled the trend and, sure enough, found a few green-living and apocalypse-prep websites supporting the idea of gardening with the crimson wave.
Blood contains three primary plant macronutrients—nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium. Plants demand these in large amounts so they can actually survive or whatever. The granddaddy of the bloody nutrients, though, is nitrogen, which helps boost plants’ overall luster and growth. So, as a poor gardener and menstrual-cup enthusiast, I decided to collect my next cycle to help grow some plants.
Joining a Cult Might Be Bad for Your Diet
From the Flavor Aid (not Kool-Aid) at Jonestown to Rev. Sun Myung Moon’s fat-shaming sermons, cults have a history of using food as one of their many tools of control.
Fuck, That’s Delicious: Episode 3
Watch Action Bronson hit the streets of London in the new episode of ‘Fuck, That’s Delicious.’
Murderers Are the Best Restaurant Workers
When I started working with actual criminals, I realized that they were easier to get along with because they knew how bad things could get.
Kobayashi Taught Me to Be a Champion Hot Dog Eater
He showed me how to shove as many hot dogs down my throat as quickly as possible. It was hard.
MUNCHIES Presents: Whole Hog BBQ with Sam Jones
Once you go whole hog, there’s no going back. Watch our new documentary on Sam Jones, a seventh generation pitmaster at the iconic BBQ joint, the Skylight Inn.