The instrument a man plays dictates how he fucks. It’s a fact.
The bassist will pillow talk with you for hours about his bandmates and name-drop big time actors he has “partied” with to seem more important. He will not know how to take off your bra, but will refuse to give up trying, so just do him a favor and have it unhooked the minute you even shake his hand. He won’t get it up right away, and will make excuses like a fifth grader who’s dog ate his homework. Bassists take a lot of breaks during sex because they are used to no one noticing if they drop out for a second. He will not let you use his designer shampoo or electric toothbrush, but will insist that you stay late the next day to have coffee and watch Netflix. Days after your night together, he will text you repeatedly, calling you slightly aggressive, yet totally immature, pet names. It will turn you off so you won’t respond. It only fuels his fire.
Guitarists are a dime a dozen and they fuck like it too.
If the guitarist always brings a back-up guitar to the show, you know the sex will be decent, and the next day you will be taken care of.
If the guitarist does not use a second guitar, it means he probably still lives at home.
If the guitarist breaks his guitar on stage for show then it means that you will have to be on top 90% of the time. This is better for you anyways because his dick probably does that slight curving up thing.