The cover of Tao Lin’s new novel is a GIF
It’s too big to load on tumblr/we can’t really figure it out, but you can view it here (and also read an excerpt).
Animal Penises Are Super Weird
One of the great things about nature is that everything in it—dogs, flowers, snakes, whales, ants, jellyfish, crabs, toucans, everything—is either eating or trying to fuck at all times. Of the uncountable billions of organisms populating our planet, millions and millions of them are getting it on at this very second. P’s are going into V’s, eggs are being fertilized, the circle of life continues.
You probably didn’t learn very much about the sex lives of animals in school because your poor science teachers had enough to worry about without saying the words “elephant cock” in front of a room of teenagers. But animal sex and the evolved features of animal sex organs are often wonderful things, and there’s no reason that today’s young people shouldn’t learn about the tiny—and sometimes startlingly large—wonders that are animal penises.
So we got some of our contributors together and wrote about animal dicks. If you are excited to learn more about animal sex, we encourage you to watch Isabella Rossellini’s Green Porno series. Or just go to the park and see if you can catch squirrels fucking.
Sea Horses
Photo via Flickr user jimg944
Did you emerge from the head of your father’s dick as a fully formed baby? Congratulations, you’re probably a sea horse. Sea-horse females impregnate males during one-night stands and leave them to foster their young without so much as paying child support, like a Beyoncé song in reverse.
Courtship begins when the female and male start scraping their tails along the sea floor. (Hot!) The male has his head tucked into his chest the entire time because he’s a little pussy bitch. The female circles around him, forcing him to pay attention to her colors. Then she grabs him with her tail and penetrates him. (Yesssss…) They swim face to face, locked together, as she excretes up to 600 eggs into his brood pouch. Then she fucks off forever.
After just a few weeks, the male undergoes contractions and finally blasts a bunch of miniature sea horses out of his little sea-horse dick.
Introducing #PublicArtGIFs
We want you, The Creators Project community, to try your hand at creating GIFs from public artworks. Watch Mr. GIF’s tutorial and then send your attempts via email or as a submission on Tumblr, and we’ll showcase them across Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and on the blog.
If you’re wondering what to make them from you could choose any kind of public performance or artwork, old or new, like Doug Aitken’s recently unveiled Mirror on the facade of the Seattle Art Museum, or sculptures like Anish Kapoor’s Cloud Gate in Chicago.
The Awesome Possibilities of the New See-Through Brain
A team of neuroscientists announced a pretty cool creation on Wednesday: a completely transparent brain. Using a new technique involving something called hydrogel, the visionary crew turned an entire mouse brain into a rather durable substance that has the consistency of transparent jello. The best part? It still works (for the most part). They call it Clarity.
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Google’s Brought Us Closer to Peak GIF
As the search giant prepares to bury every journalist’s best friend, Google Reader, it’s releasing a new way for people to find GIFs, the undead image format of the 1990s, thanks to new filters in its Image Search called “Animated,” and “Transparent.”
It may be the first time the GIF has been formally corralled into a search tool. As a maven of GIFs, it’s just the type of tool I’ve been waiting for. From the good ol’ Google Alerts setup for “GIF + { },” tags, to the “Tumblr + GIF + { }” Google searches, to the searches within Dump.fm, to classic GIF arsenals like this one, to scanning Buzzfeed for its GIF-listicles, there haven’t been simple, straight-forward ways to track down GIFs. Which also means that just about anyone will be able to deploy the format in their internet comms, perhaps establishing a new high-low GIF art divide, and propelling us even faster towards peak GIF.
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- by Daniel Stuckey
GIF Your Own Adventure with These Interactive Net Paintings
Like oil on canvas, ‘Gifmelter’ puts GIFs through a Javascript renderer to create awesome visuals.
Try It Out
- by Daniel Stuckey
Holidays in Jail
For the 2 million Americans in prison, the holidays are a terrible time. It’s terrible for their family members too—they’re trying to enjoy what should be the most wonderful time of the year, and then they receive that automated collect call recording from prison. I have nightmares about those calls. Even though getting phone calls and visits are a blessing, I feel like such a piece of guilty shameful shit every time I get one, especially around Christmas time. What’s worse than not being able to give your family and your girl presents on Xmas ‘cause you’re a fucking idiot who got caught doing dumb shit?
Lamentably, I’ve spent the majority of the past decade’s Christmases locked up. I try to imagine I’m a tough son of a bitch and this doesn’t affect me, but I tell you, it’s mega-hard not to succumb to the depression. It’s a test of emotional strength to even watch TV, read the newspaper, or listen to the radio with the constant bombardment of all the holiday glory going on in the real world while we’re locked down. Some convicts try to celebrate Xmas in the stinky clink-clink and make the most of it, whereas I try my hardest to pretend it doesn’t exist, although that’s always pretty much impossible when I have to call home and eat that shit sandwich.
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