German Babies Don’t Need to Be Boys or Girls Anymore
It’s tempting to interpret legislative shifts as progress. After all, plenty of times they are. However, what looks like progress on the surface often masks a much more complicated underbelly. Think about the fight for marriage equality: if marriage is a fundamental right, then everyone certainly deserves access to it. Insofar as the fight for this access has further normalized and entrenched the institution of marriage—itself a problematic tradition with a deeply troubled past—progress becomes trickier to gauge.
This complex relationship between progress and problem is quite clear in regards to Germany’s new third gender option on birth certificates. As of November 1, it is no longer legally necessary for babies born in Germany to be registered as male or female on their birth certificates. Instead—in cases of newborns whose bodies don’t fall neatly into male or female categories physiologically—the male and female boxes on a birth certificate can be left unchecked.
Girls Rule My World
Saturday was Sweetest Day, a holiday you’re probably only familiar with if you grew up in the quietly desperate middle west of the United States like I did. In a nutsack, Sweetest Day is like a fall version of Valentine’s Day, except instead of it being celebrated for hundreds of years by millions of people all over the world, it was created by greedy Cleveland candy companies in the 20s and only people who live near the Great Lakes know what it is.
My girl is from Northeastern Ohio, so Sweetest Day is just as serious to her as an anniversary or a birthday. And that’s fine, because even though I enjoy dick and fart jokes, I’m a pretty romantic dude. I’ve served up some seriously smooth-daddy Sweetest Days in the past… with the exception of last year.
In 2012, I ruined our special day by drinking an entire bottle of Hennessy in front of VICE cameras under the behest of trap rappers Waka Flock Flam and Gucci Mane and ended up in the ER. Although the story is a source of humor to anyone with an internet connection, to the lady who loves me, it was scary. To make it up to her this year, I was determined to cop her some great gifts for Sweetest Day that scream, “I FUCKING LOVE YOU, GIRL. SORRY I RUINED SWEETEST DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING ME IN THE HOSPITAL AT 5 AM WHEN I WAS IN A BOOZE COMA.”
Through my relentless search on the internet, I discovered three new amazing companies run by people with vaginas that make cool stuff for other people with vaginas. I was so inspired by their very different but awesome missions that I thought I’d share them with you those shopping for lady lovers. Maybe bookmark this article for Chrismukkah? Or, just buy some shit right now. Remember, anytime is the right time to compensate for your inability to express your feelings by buying things.
Check out these cool new companies!
Laura Kim (a project manager here at VICE) and Hally Erickson started Total Pleasure, an online vintage retailer that hit the internet earlier this year. The site is the perfect representation of the collision of style happening on New York’s streets, where ladies rock experimental masculine stuff with traditional garments and pair high-end brands with knock-offs—all to get at something unique, exciting, and new. I had a quick convo with Laura about the her site.
VICE: How’d this whole thing get started?
Laura Kim: Hally and I started thrifting together more and more, getting really weird shit and egging each other on. And then we kind of combined styles and formed this hybrid identity. After awhile, we couldn’t find the pieces that we wanted, because we were looking for really specific things. So, it just made sense to start our own shop that has the stuff we were looking for because it’s not readily out there.
How would you describe the clothes on Total Pleasure?
We buy birthday outfits. We’ll style something that was intended for sleepwear as something you’d wear out. Or put a hoodie over lingerie. Juxtaposition is really at the core of our aesthetic.
Can you give me some tips on buying for my special lady?
If you do right, it’s so good. It’s part intuition and part risk-taking. Get weird with it. But not too weird. My ex-boyfriend once got me a bracelet and drew a bagel on it. It was a shitty drawing and I was really bummed about it. I wore it the first day and never wore it again. That’s the kind of stuff you want to avoid.
We’re giving away tickets to see Lena Dunham and David Sedaris on November 19 at Carnegie Hall. Want a pair? Just RT this tweet and you’ll be entered to win.
The super special September issue of VICE was exclusively culled from the archives of Bob Guccione Sr.—the legendary magazine publisher who built a media empire that started with Penthouse. This portion of the issue features the sexy ladies that helped make Bob Guccione an icon—the Gucci Girls.
Brayden Olson Melted in the Catskills
I went to Andy Animal's Meltdown Funabration Weekender in the Catskills this weekend. Happy Birthday Andy! Everyone was on mushrooms and there were topless girls riding motorcycles around in a field while I ate the best gumbo of my life. It was fucking awesome. Bands like the Black Lips, Hector's Pets, and White Mystery played before Mungo Jerry closed it out on Saturday night. I should have taken more photos of the shows, but I was tripping balls and someone kept handing me a bottle of rosé with molly in it. Sorry, Mom!
1.) Pale, pale skin. Not from a powder that makes you go porcelain but from a crippling commitment to the lyrics of Morrissey and spending warm summer days indoors writing frightening verse.
2.) One blemish mid-cheek that has been picked at but won’t pop, covered with dark brown-tinted Clearasil that in the daylight looks like a shit swipe.
3.) Blistered heels from wearing John Fleuvog men’s shoes without socks. Socks are for cheerleaders. And conformists. Don’t even get me started on scrunchies.
4.) Line of black hair dye underneath the hairline. Pull the string on the back of the doll to hear, “Mom. It’s not PERMANENT! It will wash out in two days. Leave me ALONE.”
—Dear Mattel, Here’s How to Make a Goth Doll
Richard Kern Directed the New (NSFW) Video for Is Tropical, and It Rules
When it comes to visually stimulating mind fuckery, UK trio Is Tropical reigns supreme. With only two albums released on French record and fashion label Kitsuné under their belts, they’ve already succeeded in releasing a strong handful of ridiculously epic music videos. These are the kind of three second clips that make you think, “what the hell kind of band is this?” and then immediately Google everything else they’ve ever done and obsessively add what you find to your favorite late-night, YouTube K-Hole video list.
For their latest video, they asked our favorite photog/director Richard Kern to shoot them for their new single, “Lover’s Cave”. While no one gets shot or blows a load to Hentai in this video it still includes an epic house party we’d really want to go to. Below is just a taste of some of our favorite bits:
The attractive butt walking into what we assume is the “Lover’s Cave”
We open with Is Tropical (3 guys who look like their high school guidance counselor kicked them out of class and forced them to start a band) performing at a house party where a bunch of hot girls are dancing around in their underwear/taking showers with the door open.
Next, we get some girls dancing and holding hands, as is customary at parties.
Some half-naked women hang out behind the drummer, though he looks like he could give two shits about them.
This girl appears to have either (a) fallen asleep on the floor and just woke up. (b) Is so high on molly she fell over. The third option is she is ecstasy due to the act of cunnilingus that is happening off screen. Perhaps the answer is somewhere in-between… pun intended.
Shot of some girls blowin’ shotties.
A girl who tastefully picks her wedgie, and the guitarist who appears to get a boner from it. How do I know he has a boner? Look at that smile!
A ratchet female has a pint poured all over her face, presumably as a punisment for her unrepentantly ratchety ways.
A guy and girl make out.
A girl makes out with another girl and tries to cop a feel at the same time.
Basically, a lot of people make out in this video.
Watch it here
Asia, 25, Toronto - Marc Jacobs sweater, vintage shirt.
What do you do for a living?
I’m an artist.
How long has your bedroom been this messy?
The mess has a tendency to ebb and flow, depending on my mood. This is actually pretty tidy. I’m having a good week so far.
How far in advance do you plan to clean?
Sometimes when I come home drunk I clean, but by the time I wake up, it’s a mess again. I’m not sure how it happens. I don’t plan to live in a clean place until I can afford a French maid, so no, I don’t procrastinate.
Do you bring lovers into your place, and what do they think of the mess?
I bring boys home sometimes. If they complain I punish them.
Do you collect anything?
Yes. Rare and precious jewels. I accept donations.
Were you messy as a kid?
I’ve always been messy. My mom never cared, but it grossed my brother out because he’s a Virgo. My mom still doesn’t care that I live this way. My brother never comes over. I don’t mind though because he’s got cable at his place and pretty much always has food.
What would your parents say about your apartment now?
I make sure to look clean and pretty when I leave the house and I’m usually tidy when I make art.
What is your favorite item that you own, and are you worried about losing it in the mess?
My favorite item is a secret. I don’t want to say whether it’s hidden or not because I don’t want people snooping around when they come over.
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