There is no excuse for this, unless he’s Benjamin Buttoning. If so, kudos to you, old man, you’ve earned it! Twenty years ago, you were a 50-year-old power bottom with a penchant for big-game hunting and the Wallflowers. That doesn’t just go away when you turn seven.
This month’s Special Geust Writer: The Internet’s Megan Amram
MONA LISA BY LEONARDO DA VINCI
What up what up what up!!!!!! Let’s talk about some weak-ass gay-ass art! I’m Ed EFFIN’ Hardy and I’m gonna be your M-F-in’ DOCENT! Which is just a silly fancy McGaylord way of saying “art yeller-at-er”!!! I got a BA in ART from internet college (WebMD.com, MAYBE YOU’VE HEARD OF IT) and a Four Loko in my MAN PURSE. I’m ready to GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So: the Mona Lisa. This is trash. How many tigers or skulls are in this painting? THE ANSWER IS ZERO, WHICH IS THE GAYEST NUMBER OF SKULLS OR TIGERS YOU CAN HAVE IN A PAINTING. Put some tigers around Lisa’s head and then, boom, you got the HARDY LISA. Then her little smile will mean: “Yeah, I got some bomb-ass tigers around my head, what you gonna do about it? Let’s make out and then go ivory poaching at Epcot!!!!” BOOM!
Continue - Ed Hardy: Art Historian