The 21 Sexiest Things About Sex
Sex! What’s it all about? “Fanny farts” and creeping to the bathroom with cum dribbling down your leg, if this article in the Metro is anything to go by. Hannah Gale, who wrote the “The 21 Unsexiest Things About Sex,” says she’s “just being honest” and challenging “unrealistic” sex scenes in rom-coms. But honestly, if you’re that fucking basic that your view of sex is in any way influenced by rom-coms, then I’m sorry, you actually deserve shit sex. She doesn’t even preface her list with any real acknowledgment that sex can be great fun, or that women’s pleasure is important. It comes across like “women don’t really enjoy sex, it’s all just so dirty and embarrassing.” Way to go, Hannah.
The article’s been shared over 112,000 times on social media. No doubt by the sort of women who spend their weekends listening to Kylie and drinking white wine spritzers. The kind of people who bought Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus in the 90s and rabbit dildos in the noughties—but only “for a laugh,” because Samantha from Sex and the City had one. I refuse to believe any men who aren’t called Percy or Harold shared this story because given the chance most guys would shag a watermelon so long as they a) didn’t have to wear a condom and b) could cum inside it. Like they give a shit about awkwardness. Just kidding, fellas. I think?
There’s probably a serious point to be made about carnal politics and how, in our over-sanitized, digitized world, the squelchy business of sex can be such a source of embarrassment. I could keep certain political debate sites ticking over all week with my thoughts on the pressure for women to look a certain way and why, with the pornification of our culture and lack of useful education around modern sexuality. Or I could get into the fact that these days many women feel like sex is something to be performed rather than enjoyed with wanton inhibition—but I’d rather just talk about sex.
So here are my 21 sexiest things about sex. I did a callout for suggestions on Facebook and answers ranged from “Sacred sex where you commit an act of bonding” to “Rimming until your partner is begging you to fuck them.” Pigs. “Making love” is all well and good, but it always fucks you in the end. This list is about the delights of a fully-fledged passion. I’m not including the sexiest part of sex, which, of course, is our imagination and the mystery of what’s to come. You may not agree with my points and, despite my best efforts to fuck as many people as possible, I cannot reflect every single person’s experience of desire, so if you have better suggestions about what makes sex sexy, do let me know in the comments. Shit like that turns me on.

Photo author’s own
PARIS LEES’ 21 SEXIEST THINGS ABOUT SEX
1 – The smell. If you don’t like the smell of sex, I don’t know, maybe you’re not human? Sex smells… sexy?
2 – Socks. When your trusted fuck-buddy stuffs socks inside your mouth and ties your hands behind your back while ramming you like a champ. You people all do that, right?
3 – When a guy cums inside you and leaves himself inside and then you feel it getting hard again and he fucks you and cums again without ever taking it out. Not only is that sexy, you don’t have to worry about fanny farts that way, Hannah.
4 – Squeezing a guy while he’s inside you. It’s kind of like your pussy/butt saying, “I got you, homie.”
5 – Speaking of which, when he puts it in. And it feels like you’re sitting on an air freshener canister. Oh. My. Lord. What do you mean it’s “not all in yet”? Go, go gadget dick!
Continue

The 21 Sexiest Things About Sex

Sex! What’s it all about? “Fanny farts” and creeping to the bathroom with cum dribbling down your leg, if this article in the Metro is anything to go by. Hannah Gale, who wrote the “The 21 Unsexiest Things About Sex,” says she’s “just being honest” and challenging “unrealistic” sex scenes in rom-coms. But honestly, if you’re that fucking basic that your view of sex is in any way influenced by rom-coms, then I’m sorry, you actually deserve shit sex. She doesn’t even preface her list with any real acknowledgment that sex can be great fun, or that women’s pleasure is important. It comes across like “women don’t really enjoy sex, it’s all just so dirty and embarrassing.” Way to go, Hannah.

The article’s been shared over 112,000 times on social media. No doubt by the sort of women who spend their weekends listening to Kylie and drinking white wine spritzers. The kind of people who bought Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus in the 90s and rabbit dildos in the noughties—but only “for a laugh,” because Samantha from Sex and the City had one. I refuse to believe any men who aren’t called Percy or Harold shared this story because given the chance most guys would shag a watermelon so long as they a) didn’t have to wear a condom and b) could cum inside it. Like they give a shit about awkwardness. Just kidding, fellas. I think?

There’s probably a serious point to be made about carnal politics and how, in our over-sanitized, digitized world, the squelchy business of sex can be such a source of embarrassment. I could keep certain political debate sites ticking over all week with my thoughts on the pressure for women to look a certain way and why, with the pornification of our culture and lack of useful education around modern sexuality. Or I could get into the fact that these days many women feel like sex is something to be performed rather than enjoyed with wanton inhibition—but I’d rather just talk about sex.

So here are my 21 sexiest things about sex. I did a callout for suggestions on Facebook and answers ranged from “Sacred sex where you commit an act of bonding” to “Rimming until your partner is begging you to fuck them.” Pigs. “Making love” is all well and good, but it always fucks you in the end. This list is about the delights of a fully-fledged passion. I’m not including the sexiest part of sex, which, of course, is our imagination and the mystery of what’s to come. You may not agree with my points and, despite my best efforts to fuck as many people as possible, I cannot reflect every single person’s experience of desire, so if you have better suggestions about what makes sex sexy, do let me know in the comments. Shit like that turns me on.

Photo author’s own

PARIS LEES’ 21 SEXIEST THINGS ABOUT SEX

1 – The smell. If you don’t like the smell of sex, I don’t know, maybe you’re not human? Sex smells… sexy?

2 – Socks. When your trusted fuck-buddy stuffs socks inside your mouth and ties your hands behind your back while ramming you like a champ. You people all do that, right?

3 – When a guy cums inside you and leaves himself inside and then you feel it getting hard again and he fucks you and cums again without ever taking it out. Not only is that sexy, you don’t have to worry about fanny farts that way, Hannah.

4 – Squeezing a guy while he’s inside you. It’s kind of like your pussy/butt saying, “I got you, homie.”

5 – Speaking of which, when he puts it in. And it feels like you’re sitting on an air freshener canister. Oh. My. Lord. What do you mean it’s “not all in yet”? Go, go gadget dick!

Continue

How I Broke My Dick: A Cautionary Tale of Average Length

How I Broke My Dick: A Cautionary Tale of Average Length

How I Broke My Dick: A Cautionary Tale of Average Length
It was one of those rare moments when you realize the predicament you’re in can’t easily be fixed. I was having sex and then there was a pop. The next minute, I sat stupidly at the end of the bed, staring down at my crotch—eyes wide, jaw hanging open.
“Is it just dye from the condom?”
My then quasi-girlfriend was a little too casual for my liking. I continued to stare at my penis, too stunned to answer.
“No it’s definitely not the condom.”
After running a quick play-by-play in my head, my worst fears had been actualized. I had pulled out a minute before, hastily tearing off the black condom and smacking the light switch to examine the damage only to find out, to my horror, what looked like a growing blood blister on the side of my most dear possession.
Continue

How I Broke My Dick: A Cautionary Tale of Average Length

It was one of those rare moments when you realize the predicament you’re in can’t easily be fixed. I was having sex and then there was a pop. The next minute, I sat stupidly at the end of the bed, staring down at my crotch—eyes wide, jaw hanging open.

“Is it just dye from the condom?”

My then quasi-girlfriend was a little too casual for my liking. I continued to stare at my penis, too stunned to answer.

“No it’s definitely not the condom.”

After running a quick play-by-play in my head, my worst fears had been actualized. I had pulled out a minute before, hastily tearing off the black condom and smacking the light switch to examine the damage only to find out, to my horror, what looked like a growing blood blister on the side of my most dear possession.

Continue

Meet the guys fighting to save your baby’s foreskin.

Meet the guys fighting to save your baby’s foreskin.

CAN-FAP: Meet the Canadian group that’s fighting for foreskins worldwide

CAN-FAP: Meet the Canadian group that’s fighting for foreskins worldwide

We’re Giving Away Dick Insurance!

We’re Giving Away Dick Insurance!

Tom Mitchell stands next to a diagram of his penis, Elmo, which he wants to chop off.

Tom Mitchell stands next to a diagram of his penis, Elmo, which he wants to chop off.

"He is normally a very lovely lad and very bright. But unfortunately, he had started dabbling in drugs." —Rolling Stone looks at “meow meow,” the drug that made a teen cut off his penis. 

"He is normally a very lovely lad and very bright. But unfortunately, he had started dabbling in drugs." 

—Rolling Stone looks at “meow meow,” the drug that made a teen cut off his penis. 

An Irish Man Got a 7 Week Erection from Riding a Bike 
A 22-year-old competitive bicyclist in Ireland suffered from an erection that lasted seven weeks due to a straddling accident with the bike’s crossbar. Men right now might be thinking, “so what’s the problem?” Well, the problem is that if this were left untreated it could have lead to a serious blood clot, which could then lead to a stroke. At this moment, I’m reminded of the time I thought I had a blood clot, but it ended up just being a ketchup stain on my breast. 
The cyclist (who shockingly does not want to reveal his name) had, as the Irish Independentreports, “what is known as a ‘high-flow priapism’ with a rigid erection, which happens without sexual stimulation.” So it wasn’t even a fun boner. He endured this terrifying nonstop erection for five weeks before seeing a doctor about it. I can understand waiting a day because, sure, it’s kind of funny, but five whole weeks? The only explanation I can think of is perhaps he was terrified of his doctor saying, “Oh shite lad, looks like we got to cut your dick off. Chug this Guinness while I go get the big scissors.” 
Continue

An Irish Man Got a 7 Week Erection from Riding a Bike 

A 22-year-old competitive bicyclist in Ireland suffered from an erection that lasted seven weeks due to a straddling accident with the bike’s crossbar. Men right now might be thinking, “so what’s the problem?” Well, the problem is that if this were left untreated it could have lead to a serious blood clot, which could then lead to a stroke. At this moment, I’m reminded of the time I thought I had a blood clot, but it ended up just being a ketchup stain on my breast. 

The cyclist (who shockingly does not want to reveal his name) had, as the Irish Independentreports, “what is known as a ‘high-flow priapism’ with a rigid erection, which happens without sexual stimulation.” So it wasn’t even a fun boner. He endured this terrifying nonstop erection for five weeks before seeing a doctor about it. I can understand waiting a day because, sure, it’s kind of funny, but five whole weeks? The only explanation I can think of is perhaps he was terrified of his doctor saying, “Oh shite lad, looks like we got to cut your dick off. Chug this Guinness while I go get the big scissors.” 

Continue

Your ADHD Meds Might Give You a Life-Threatening Erection 
The FDA issued a warning today that a small number of the 5 percent of young boys who have been diagnosed with ADHD are at risk for priapism, aka: boners that won’t go away. Medications that contain methylphenidate can trap blood in the penises of men, and even more distressingly, young boys, who already suffer from the “terrible affliction" of hyperbonerism, which is funny, except when it’s not.
Priapism, named after Priapus, the Greek fertility god pictured above, is most often caused by scarier and more painful conditions like––prepare to wince––kidney stones, hernias, or twisting of the spermatic cord, which can overshadow the severity of a persistent erection. Priapism on it’s own, however, has to be treated or it can cause fertility problems, and, in the worst of cases,gangrene of the penis, which necessitates amputation.
Continue

Your ADHD Meds Might Give You a Life-Threatening Erection 

The FDA issued a warning today that a small number of the 5 percent of young boys who have been diagnosed with ADHD are at risk for priapism, aka: boners that won’t go away. Medications that contain methylphenidate can trap blood in the penises of men, and even more distressingly, young boys, who already suffer from the “terrible affliction" of hyperbonerism, which is funny, except when it’s not.

Priapism, named after Priapus, the Greek fertility god pictured above, is most often caused by scarier and more painful conditions like––prepare to wince––kidney stones, hernias, or twisting of the spermatic cord, which can overshadow the severity of a persistent erection. Priapism on it’s own, however, has to be treated or it can cause fertility problems, and, in the worst of cases,gangrene of the penis, which necessitates amputation.

Continue

← Older
Page 1 of 2