Let’s Hope the Booty Video Trend Never Ends
God bless the booty video trend. Like any overwhelmed observer of popular music, I’ve had my moments of doubt about an aesthetic that more and more resembles those high-end porn videos for people who don’t actually like porn. Those are the ones where the producers spend a bunch of money on saxophone music and a RED camera to make sure you don’t feel gross about jerking off. You’re not fooling anyone with your fancy lighting setups and fast-fashion knockoff wardrobe choices, guys. Still, there’s a reason the booty genre has endured decades of music industry turmoil. The videos are great, and people love them. More vitally for our female music icons, it’s a clear, surefire way to assert your relevance, no matter how old you are.
The clip for Jennifer Lopez’s “Booty” remix that came out last week is yet another entry in the competition for filthiest music video of 2014. It excises the over-the-top, comical gyrations, garish set design, and knowing sense of humor of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video and replaces that with a rapid-fire succession of butts doing things most butts can’t do. Yes, it found a way to be even less subtle than “Anaconda.”
Also, this is the first time I’ve considered Jennifer Lopez sexy since 2005, which is no small feat when discussing the star of Monster-in-Law and The Wedding Planner. “Booty” has enough people talking (or not talking, depending how much they like the video’s ample eroticism) that Lopez probably just punched her ticket off the music industry senior tour. The ass-centric, porny spank video is now the go-to career move for legacy pop stars like J-Lo who want an instant hot relevancy injection.
The Fappening Has Revealed a New Type of Pervert
If ever the word “fap” stood a chance of entering the dictionary, this was it. The leak of over 100 nude pictures of actresses this week, known as “The Fappening,” has exposed the world’s most famous bodies and triggered a media firestorm.
The popular view among feminists has been to encourage others to avoid the pictures entirely. But this argument is self-defeating: by mentioning the pictures and watching their own articles get retweeted, journalists still draw their readers into a “scandal.” Which isn’t to say that writers should ignore the story, it’s just ludicrous to expect readers not to follow it up and find the images. Hadley Freeman, in an otherwise agreeable piece, says that she has “never understood the appeal in looking at naked photos of people who I don’t know and who certainly have no interest in me.” Dear Hadley Freeman, I love you, but the rest of us sometimes watch porn.
Such arguments imply that looking at an image will plant the seed of misogynist evil,Videodrome-style, inside a viewer’s head. Unless the leak was a combined effort by one hundred celebrities’ ex-boyfriends, it has nothing to do with “revenge porn.” Nor is it, ultimately, a grotesque act of theft, “thought crime,” or body-shaming to look at the pictures. We can’t feasibly expect everyone to ignore clickbait, though the news that McKayla Maroney’s images depict her while underage is a horribly grim twist to the affair, rendering the images child pornography, and definitely not OK to be shared.
This Porn Site Operator Is Offering a Reward for Helping to Catch the ‘Fappening’ Leaker
Mike Kulich would like to be known as one of the good pornographers. When “The Fappening” occured on Saturday, it was still being called “Celebgate,” and the nude photos of such celebrities as Jennifer Lawrence, McKayla Maroney, and Krysten Ritter were still being called “alleged nude photos.” Before they could be authenticated, much of the internet rushed to masturbate rapturously, tweet dumb shit, and then make jokes. This time though, there was a louder-than-average outcry against the leaker who apparently exploited a security hole in Apple’s iCloud in order to peak at the nipples of people who act in movies.
One seemingly unlikely condemnation is coming from the porn site SkweezMe.com. On Sunday, when the news of the leak was still fresh, they issued a press release stating not only that they ”want this hacker brought to justice as much as the women who are the direct victims of this hack,” but that there would be a “very generous cash reward to anyone who can provide us with any information on the perpetrator.”
We caught up with SkweezMe.com Managing Partner Mike Kulich to find out what burns him up so much about leaked celebrity nudes, and to find out how to collect this reward.
VICE: What made you decide to offer this cash reward?
Mike Kulich: Consent is one of the keystones of the Adult Entertainment Business. Regardless of what anti-porn organizations claim—for instance: that we are all human traffickers and pimps—every girl that appears on film for any production company is there of her own free will. She is consenting to everything that happens on screen. The adult industry feels very strongly about consent, which is why it has been heavily involved in our support for legislation banning revenge porn, which has become illegal in a number of different states.
Jennifer Lawrence’s pictures were meant to be private and whoever hacked her computer or phone had no right to ever see those pictures, let alone leak them to the world. We want this person brought to justice.
How much is it and how will you fund it?
We will fund it with revenue generated from SkweezMe.com. We have thousands of users who use our site. After our payouts to our studio partners, we will be taking the money out of our cut, and giving the reward to whoever provides us with the information leading to the apprehension of the party responsible. The reward will be based on the validity of the information and the coordination with law enforcement. We expect to get a number of inquiries because people see dollar signs, but we will only be rewarding someone who gives us pertinent information that is valid, and leads to an arrest.
I Was an Accidental Porn Star
Civilian to porn star; it’s a route most travel via casting couches and cum shots. However, for Luke-Kristopher Davis—a 21-year-old physics student at Swansea University—everything happened the fairytale way. While spending a year in Spain, he was whisked off his feet by director Erika Lust, who cast him in two of her films.
Luke-Kristopher’s now back in the UK, but besides his bio on Erika’s site—which says he “dances and attends university when he is not wowing us with his great smile”—I didn’t know much about him or his accidental foray into porn. So I gave him a call to talk it over.
VICE: Hi Luke-Kristopher. So how did all of this happen for you?
Luke-Kristopher Davis: I was in Barcelona on a night out with some friends, and this woman came over and asked me if I was a model or an actor. I said I was just a student. Then she asked me to do a porn film.
Did she say what she found so alluring about you?
Yeah, yeah. Well, she thought I’d done modeling. She said, “Oh, you’re very good looking. Are you a model or an actor?” I do actually get it absolutely everywhere I go [laughs].
Yeah. Right now I work in a bar, and all my customers ask me. They come up to me and take pictures. It’s quite funny.
What went through your mind when she suggested it?
I wasn’t really shocked, to be honest. I just saw it as an opportunity to have a little—you know, fun [laughs]. I thought about it rationally: ‘Would this be worth it?’ I had to assess the risk and if it was safe. She described her company and it didn’t sound like a back alley thing. It’s very high quality. And it’s a feminist company, so I was impressed by that.
America Runs on Anal: Pornhub’s New Study Proves Americans Love Watching Butt Stuff
Do you jack off to creampie porn? Do you spend your evenings busting nuts as you watch fellas slide slimy wet ones up ladies’ and/or other fellas’ backsides? Does the thought of an anal prolapse make you hard like a 13-year-old witnessing Britney Spears’s “… Baby One More Time” music video for the first time?
According to Pornhub, for many people the answer to these questions is a resounding yes.
Pornhub Insights, the smut giant’s data department, recently conducted a study about Americans’ anal porn consumption. For several weeks, the team examined Pornhub users’ searches. The research unearthed important facts, like which state’s users likes asses the most and how much American Pornhub viewers like ass in comparison with other countries (only Russians likes butts more than we do). For funsies, Pornhub also looked into how much countries that America has invaded—like Iraq and Afghanistan—use Pornhub to watch booty sex.
Afterwards, the Nate Silver of porn created these exclusive graphs for VICE to reveal the findings. (All terms in the graphs were found in users’ search results.)
The results may surprise you—and also get you very, very hard.
Quiz: Can You Tell Which of These Porn Star Orgasms Are Fake?
Up to three-quarters of women have admitted faking an orgasm, and a third of those fakers reported faking it “every time.” Do you think you can tell the difference? We got five porn stars to provide us with two videos; one of them having a real orgasm, and one of them having a fake orgasm. Underneath each video we reveal which is the genuine orgasm.
Take the quiz!
Chatting with the Porn Star Who Wants Rob Ford’s Job
The 2014 Toronto mayoral election has attracted enough oddball candidates that it’s making the 2003 California gubernatorial recall look like the pinnacle of democratic integrity (that’s the one in which Arnold Schwarzenegger beat out Larry Flint and Gary Coleman). In case you’re not familiar with the current crop of candidates looking to take Rob Ford’s seat, the options include a white supremacist, a dude who almost made marijuana legal in Canada, the conveniently named Al Gore, one of the geniuses who wrote the classic Toronto anthem “Spadina Bus,” and a dread-headed hippie who uncomfortably misappropriates Rastafarian culture.
Toronto’s crowded field of unlikely candidates got a lot more erotic after Nikki Benz, adult-film actress, announced her candidacy last month. Benz is a Torontonian through and through. She grew up in Etobicoke—the home of current mayor Rob Ford—before jetting to Los Angeles in 2004 to seek a fame and fortune by putting P’s in her V on camera. Her films like Anal Dream Team andMeet the Fuckers 6 have made her a commercial and critical favorite in the world of porn, resulting in seven Adult Video News award nominations.
Nikki sent the press into a tizzy a few weeks ago when she introduced her Brazzers-backed candidacy with the deliriously clever “Trade in Your Ford for a Benz” campaign slogan—but then she ran into some trouble when the driver’s license she used to register was expired and the city prevented her from registering her official candidacy. She’s in the process of resolving the issue now.
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