Stoya on How Porn Stars Avoid Getting Pregnant
A few months ago someone asked me how porn chicks avoid getting pregnant. I rolled my eyes and thought,Duh, the same ways all chicks avoid getting pregnant. My sarcastic response wasn’t worth the energy it would have taken to type into Twitter and send. A week or so later someone asked the same question at a Q&A panel during an adult convention called Exxxotica. Over the next couple of months, more people asked the same thing via Twitter and Tumblr. One of my co-workers, Kayden Kross, brought up the fact that she’d been receiving questions about birth control as well. Neither of us remembered pregnancy on porn sets being a subject of public curiosity in previous years. Maybe all the public discussion of Measure B (the condoms-in-porn law) sparked the interest. So, without the sarcasm, let’s talk about birth control.
I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that you can’t get pregnant if you’re completely abstinent. There’s that whole Virgin Mary thing, but if I start factoring in acts of God, the topic gets too wacky to wrap my head around. I’m also pretty sure you can’t get pregnant if you stick to masturbation, are a woman who only has sex with women, or have sex in ways that completely avoid any vaginal contact with semen. However, if you are engaging in penis-in-vagina penetrative sex or moving hands back and forth between penises and vaginas, pregnancy is a risk that needs to be managed. This handy chart provided by the US Government can fill you in on the various types of available birth control.
Why I Love Watching Ron Jeremy Fuck
To witness Ron Jeremy have intercourse is to witness a grizzly bear eat a flamingo, or an orphan try to break into a vending machine. He is a manifestation of the grotesque male id, jamming fingers and genitals into every orifice at every opportunity, doing all of these things simultaneously, not making sense, not following some plan, just a man bludgeoning the human body with his sexual impulses. It is like watching a chimpanzee try to open the package of an Xbox controller.
You don’t masturbate to Ron Jeremy having sex, because using a Ron Jeremy scene to masturbate is like using a volcano to barbecue—it’s probably healthier to stand back and watch it have its way with the innocent. For Candy Stripers 2, a 1985 film about a hospital with ridiculous saxophone solos, and doctors pretending to look at pieces of paper, Jeremy won the AVN award for Best Supporting Actor. During an early scene, he’s sitting at a desk in his office while one of his nurses gives him a shoulder massage. They kiss and then he pulls away and scowls, as if he is disgusted with himself for being incapable of literally inhaling another human being. His breathing sounds like an 18-wheeler accelerating from a dead stop.
Women have always been the focus in pornography, with their exaggerated screams and contorted faces, because the male viewers who live vicariously through porn, eternally narcissistic and insecure, protective of their fragile egos, need the women to be Totally Loving That Cock. But Jeremy is central to his scenes. He is not, like most anonymous porn cocks, coolly detached or numb to the act; he is a strange loser, a figure we can relate to as he grunts and celebrates that he is having sex at all. There is no macho dehumanization; he calls women’s breasts “boobies” and their butts “tushies.” He says this to their faces, to the camera. He calls them “hunny” and puts a towel on the ground to protect their knees if they are going to give him a blowjob outdoors. He has a real, honest fascination with the female body. His eyes glaze over, bewildered, lustful, grateful that he is alive and this woman is alive and that he is allowed to touch her parts.
How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life
Hi, I’m Brian. Welcome to Tubesteak, a regular column where I talk about penises mostly and what I do with mine and what you should do with yours. There will also be some discussion of cocks, cocksuckers, cuckolds, and maybe, just maybe, a clitoris or two. But, honestly, mostly just dicks.
There I was, lying in bed ass-naked at 1 AM on a Tuesday night with my eyes closed pulling on my limp dick like a bird trying to get a worm out of the frozen ground. This is what jerking off had become for me: fiddling around with a mushy penis like I was searching for a prize at the bottom of a bowl of ramen. I never should have given up porn.
In a valiant effort to prove that my cock wasn’t indebted to images of manufactured sexual abandon, I had decided to give up pornography altogether to show that I could still beat off like a 15-year-old who just discovered what happens on Cinemax after midnight. But I couldn’t. It had been a week and I hadn’t gotten wood of any kind but the morning variety since.
Before going any further, I should mention that I probably have a more complicated relationship to porn than most people. I wish I could say it’s because I’m hot and hung enough to star in it, but I am neither. Like most horny uglies with small dicks and big opinions, I took to writing about porn, covering the industry and its gossip on Fleshbot for about four years. Watching people fuck had lost its magic for me—it was workand I was “doing research” nearly every day.
It’s not that I became desensitized to it. Oh no, I was still slapping my salami as often as possible, but I had only done it in the company of visual stimulation for as long as I could remember. In high school I had underwear catalogs (and, yes, Cinemax), and then, after getting a job in a bookstore, I purloined stroke mags that were supposed to be mailed back to the distributor. In college I graduated to VHS tapes before DVDs took over. Then, when the internet hit, I had every type of porn known to man just sitting there in my room, waiting for me to masturbate to it. The straw that broke the camel’s penis, however, was when keeping up with it became my professional obligation. My member was more dependent on seeing poles going into holes than I ever imagined.
Skinema delves into the dirty secrets of the dirty movie industry. Watch the premiere episode here.
Every week Richard Kern invites us to his L.E.S. apartment where we go through a huge box of archival photographs from his long and checkered career. Today’s featured model is Erica, a redhead Richard shot having butt sex with her boyfriend.
VICE: Who are we looking at?
Richard Kern: This girl is Erica, and I stuck her in only because the story is interesting. This is in Paris.
She’s got some haunches on her.
You mean hips? Yeah, she did have some nice hips. This was at my old gallerist’s apartment. I think it’s like ’96, ’97, something like that. He’s got his Raymond Petitbon there. He’s a huge dealer now in France. The interesting part about this girl—I don’t know if she’s good looking or not, she’s super French to me—but she had flame red hair, which you don’t see here. But her boyfriend came to the shoot and said, “After you shoot, can you shoot some stuff for me?”
How did you answer that?
I said, “OK, sure.” And we went back to my hotel, which was down the street, and he wanted me to shoot them having sex, like porno shots.
Wait, when did that become clear?
When we got back. He said, “She’s a porno model.” And he wanted to get into porn too. You know, this was translated so I don’t know what they were really saying. I took their camera and shot a bunch of stuff of him fucking her, which was pretty fun. I don’t think I had ever shot anything like that for somebody else in that situation. I’d shot people fucking—like myself—but I don’t think I had ever done it for someone else. But she looked so uncomfortable, and then he fucked her in the ass and I was sitting there like, “Oh, OK.”
Was he winking at you and the camera like, “You’re doing a good job”?
No, he’s just talking to her in French like, “C’mon, c’mon.” And he’s her age. This is some young dude, and I don’t know what in the fuck they were thinking, what the deal was, because… I mean, I shot it, but there was no cum shot. Wait, was there a cum shot? I can’t remember, maybe he came in her mouth.
Did he pay for it?
No, I just said I’d do it. But I shot a ton of stuff thinking I could sell her to a sex magazine and nobody was interested. So maybe she’s more ragged than I thought.
Previously - Cece