What Do Hate Groups Think of Jennifer Lawrence
Have you ever met anyone who doesn’t like Jennifer Lawrence? No? Me either. Even if someone doesn’t know who she is, you can just show them that clip of her after the Oscars, or that one of her getting freaked out by Jack Nicholson, and they will become an instant lifelong megafan.
But in the interest of presenting a fair and balanced argument, I decided to try and find some people who hate her. And who hates more shit than members of hate groups? They have the word “hate” right there in their description.
I called up a few to see what their feelings were on J-Lawr.
NATIONAL SOCIALIST FREEDOM MOVEMENT
Who are they?
A US-based “white civil rights group” (that’s a fancy way of saying “racists”).
What do they think of Jennifer Lawrence?
VICE: I was wondering if you could tell me your organization’s thoughts on Jennifer Lawrence?
Edward McBride, National Socialist Freedom Movement: Jennifer Lawrence? I don’t know anything about her. Why?
You know who she is, right? She just won best actress for Silver Linings Playbook? She was in Hunger Games?
No, sorry. I don’t really pay attention to that nonsense.
Oh. Well what kind of stuff are you into?
Basically, you know, defending the rights of white people everywhere.
Jennifer Lawrence is white.
So you guys would defend her?
If something were to happen to her.
Well, a while ago she won an award at the Golden Globes, and when she went to get it, she said this thing about Meryl Streep, which was just a reference to First Wives Club, but a lot of people misunderstood and thought she was dissing Meryl. A bunch of people were angry. There was this huge Twitter backlash.
Is that something you guys would have defended her against?
What kind of stuff would you defend her against, then?
A variety of different things. Say, for example, she was the victim of a flash mob.
Eugh. I hate flash mobs.
Yeah, basically where a group of nig-nogs are looking for any excuse to attack whites.
Oh. I think maybe your definition of “flash mob” is different from mine… Are there any actresses you do like?
Not even Meryl Streep?
But everybody likes Meryl Streep.
Islamophobes, Go to Sleep
When I agreed to write a column for VICE, I was granted this space, and I am responsible for what happens in this space. Today, I’m going to use this space to rub your racist and bigoted shit in your own faces.
By many scorecards, I’m not a legitimate Muslim. I have repeatedly violated the boundaries of appropriate behavior and belief. What’s worse, I have published accounts of these transgressions, and therefore risk misleading my sisters and brothers. I proudly associate with communities that are condemned as “heretical.” I write about contextualizing drugs within my practice of Islam. I attempted a William S. Burroughs-inspired cut-up project using the Qur’an. I’ve been called the godfather of Muslim punk rock, whatever that means. And ten years ago, I wrote about stink-palming Cat Stevens. I’m not trying to play the good Muslim/bad Muslim game here, but some of you might appreciate a pro-queer, pro-drug, stink-palming Muslim heretic. If you’re one of those people who squint when you look, and you have this uninformed view of “Islam” as universally, fundamentally rigid and oppressive, there’s a chance that I can challenge the uncompromising monolith that you imagine Islam to be. At the very least, I complicate the picture and make it harder for you to say that all Muslims think and act alike, right?
But it doesn’t really matter. Some of you see that my middle name’s Muhammad and automatically decide that I’m out to circumcise your daughters. The comments on my VICE columns have illustrated the same reality that I experienced while being detained and molested at the US/Canada border because of Shi’a literature in my trunk: Muslims are Muslims. Regardless of my own positions, every column draws comments like, “At least we don’t cut people’s heads off in a cave.” I’ve learned not to read the comments, because this is what you come up with:
“Islam is the armpit of the world. They treat women like dogs and cattle. They believe in honor killings of their own family and hate their enemies more than they love their kin – Fuck Islam and the camel it rode in on.”
“The notion that such an apocryphal and hateful cult such as Islam could solve anything much less racism is ludicrous.”
“Islam is a very destructive and backwards ideology. Just read their scriptures.”
“This book [the Qur’an] is dangerous to our survival and to human cooperation in general. This is why there are Muslim martyrs. This is why martyrs are ‘true Muslims.’ To say they are not is foolish.”
“How old was that kid that Muhammad slept with again?”
“Islam doesn’t work and hasn’t worked for a long time.”
“What kind of insane person (I’m guessing from America) converts to Islam?”
“Islam is not compatible with freedom…it is not a religion but is a political agenda with religious undertones.”
“What do you call an abortion clinic in Mecca? Crime fighters.”
The White Boy Posse Are Canada’s Hell’s Angels
On September 12 of this year, a mother of four named Lorry Ann Santos opened her door to find three members of a Western Canadian gang called the “White Boy Posse” at her doorstep. They shot her dead. The police believe that this was a case of “mistaken identity.” Last week, three White Boy Posse members were charged with her murder along with the killing of two others. Two of those men were also charged with the murder and decapitation of a man named Bryan Gower, who the police believe knew members of the White Boy Posse.
In 2008, the White Boy Posse was subject to a major sweep of arrests and seizures by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police’s Organized Crime Unit. The gang associates themselves with white supremacist Nazi iconography, and along with swastika flags, the RCMP seized 28 firearms, $500,000 in cocaine, over $300,000 in cash, 3,000 ecstasy pills, and a bunch of stolen stuff, according to an Edmonton Sun report. At that time, the RCMP said they had “crippled” the White Boy Posse.
According to the most recent numbers the overall crime rate in Canada has dropped, though the homicide rate is on the rise. Getting more specific, Edmonton has the third highest homicide rate behind Winnipeg and Halifax. Saskatoon also rates second on a chart of crime severity, just behind Winnipeg.
I spoke to Michael Chattleburgh, the founding president of Astwood, a “strategy corporation” that works with the RCMP and crime prevention organizations to provide research and information. He is also the author of Young Thugs: Inside the Dangerous World of Street Gangs.
Regarding the rising problem of gang related homicide in Western Canada, Michael told me that it all stems from the demand for drugs in the Western provinces; “There’s been a lot of gang members moving over to the Alberta area because of the oil sands projects. Those young guys that are working 12-hour shifts… what do they want when they’re done? They want their booze, they want their girls, and they want their drugs. So, it’s been a little bit of a ‘go west young man’ right now. Certainly in Edmonton, the population of gangsters is growing, I would say faster than Toronto.”
Evidently, both because of its major infrastructure for drug production and its positioning as a port city, a lot of these drugs come from Vancouver, which “acts as a port for both the Mexican cartels who bring drugs up in fiberglass submarines and also from the Asian continents. It’s a victim of its geography in terms of where it sits, but being a port city matters because a lot of those ports are allegedly controlled by the Hell’s Angels.”
Cry-Baby of the Week
The incident: A ten-year-old boy named Kieran found some porn on an iPad in John Lewis, a department store chain in the UK.
The appropriate reaction: Laughing. That shit is hilarious when you’re ten.
The actual reaction: According to an article in The Sun, after seeing the porn, which his uncle described as “rotten porn… It wasn’t even boy and girl stuff” (which I think means it was “gay porn”), Kieran became “really upset and kept asking what it was about”.
Which, whatever, he’s ten. He’s allowed to get upset about stuff like that. I definitely wouldn’t have been when I was ten, but if he did, that’s obviously no biggie. The real cry-baby here is his uncle, Ross Evans, who not only complained to John Lewis—who, he claims, “didn’t take it seriously”—but presumably must have gotten in touch with The Sun to tell them all about it, too.
And then The Sun would have sent a writer and photographer to the boy’s house to get that picture of him up there looking sad with an iPad, and then somebody would have had to call John Lewis’s head office to get a quote, and the people at John Lewis would have sat around trying to work out the best way to handle it from a PR perspective (“The device was not correctly connected to our demonstration network. It won’t happen again,” is what they settled with, BTW), and then someone would have had to write the article up, and then it would have gone through an editor, and then gotten uploaded to The Sun website, and then people would have taken time out of their days to read about it, and 131 of those people then commented on the post, and then, before you know it, literally thousands of people are involved.
Because a ten-year-old saw some porn on a device that is connected to the internet.