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Take a Stroll… with Rob Delaney - High on Fire
Dear Matt Pike of my favorite band High on Fire,
How in the name of Fuck do you rock so hard? I can’t even handle it. Your music fuels my days and nights. I am indebted to you for traveling to distant lands to study the filthy ways of the diabolical metal tomahawk assassins and bringing their fury back to my face and ear drum holes. I am but a little Nancy boy and would probably be eaten by a Death Falcon the moment I dared step off the edge of the Earth to follow you.
Anyway, I read that you’re in rehab now. And really, why wouldn’t you be? You make Frodo look like a very seriously embarrassing pussy. You would have hit one chord on your blood covered Les Paul and Sauron would have pissed himself and flooded his subterranean weapon forges with sissy piss, halting all operations and allowing Gandalf the freedom to just fly around on the back of a dragon, drinking Wizard Fresca and banging fairies and shit, instead of having to help Hobbits all day like a chump.
The Fat Jew just got back from some New Age rehab center in New Mexico and turned in the DOs and DON’Ts he was supposed to write weeks ago. When we asked how his trip went he sent us this video, which we take from the 16K views is already on the Drudge Report or something.
Read the rest at Vice Magazine: WHAT THE FAT JEW DID ON HIS SUMMER VACATION - Viceland Today