Sex sells. From sandpaper to steak, there is seemingly nothing it can’t be used to market—save baby formula. That being said, I’m sure a think tank of modern Mad Men are currently trying to eroticize the formula game. Of course, sex is best at selling itself, which makes the Adult Entertainment Expo business as usual; emphasis on business. A literal circle jerk for folks who make their living off lasciviousness, combined with a lil’ somethin’ for fuck fans—and by “a lil’ somethin’,” I mean, “the opportunity to take awkwardly staged photographs with bored looking women in sheer shirts”—the self-proclaimed “World’s Largest Adult Trade Event” is a veritable smorgasbord of smut, all of which can be possessed for a price.
The Adult Entertainment Expo takes place where events of its ilk should take place: Las Vegas, aka Xanadu for mouth breathers; where the cocktail waitresses are already conveniently dressed like sex objects. In the casino that surrounded the expo (Hard Rock, natch), degenerate gamblers refused to look up from the slot machines they were vacantly poking at, not even to gawk at the scantily clad ladies go-go dancing right in front of them. Countless others, I’m sure, sat in the rooms above, watching television on their vacations. Vegas, baby! Vegas!