The Greatest Summer Jam Since 1980, Round 2
Hello, internet. It’s us, your friends at Noisey. We decided to determine the greatest summer jam since 1980, tournament style. After a Round One that was tabulated by our resident goofball Luke Winkie, we decided to open the tournament up to voting from a panel of elite Internet Explorers and mage-level Netscape Navigators so that we might bring a sense of professionalism and objectivity to such a precise and scientific quest.
Because what is a “summer jam,” anyways? Is it a song that dominated the summer it was released in? Is it a song that only sounds good when it’s over 85 degrees out? Verily, nay. The summer jam is an ineffable beast; a riddle wrapped inside of an enigma wrapped inside a hook so obvious and dumb that whoever wrote them invariably deserves a MacArthur Genius Grant. It’s nostalgic but somehow casts an eye towards a better future. It’s not necessarily sexual, but when deployed correctly, the summer jam makes everyone within earshot a minimum of 10% sexier.
Some housekeeping before we get to the winners: Last round, people on the internet complained that lots of these songs didn’t come out in the summer, and that the songs we picked from the 80’s were arbitrary and that we left out actual genuine summer jams from the era. To these notions, we scoff. The summer jam is about living in the now; it doesn’t matter when a summer jam was released as long as it truly and unequivocally jams in the summer. In the galaxy of the summer jam, the past only exists to mine from so that your summer of now may shine brighter. Destroy your idols. Fuck Don Henley’s “The Boys of Summer.” The Ataris’ version is better, anyways.
All your favorite Noisey writers wrote about their favorite summer jams. (Mine’s “Big Pimpin’”.)