Reflecting on happier times, 8 months ago, when we thought Toronto Mayor Rob Ford was just a buffoon with a terrible photographer.
An Interview with Toronto’s Most Popular Transsexual Model
Before the Canadian news cycle was inundated by a series of political scandals, resignations, and smoke-outs, a decidedly minor controversy occurred within the pages of Canada’s Sun Media newspaper chain. On Tuesday, Xtra revealed that one of the paper’s “SUNshine Girls” (the scantily clad women who appear on Page three of every issue) was actually Amelia Maltepe, a transsexual model from Toronto by way of Bangladesh.
To their credit, Sun Media seems unconcerned with the revelation, even though they were unaware of Amelia’s sexual identity. Sun Media may have a contentious history with Canada’s LGBT community, but, as Toronto Sun's editor-in-chief Mike Wallace told Xtra “she’s cute and we ran her photo.” He also let it slip that Amelia was not the first trans woman to become a SUNshine Girl.
Unfortunately, not everyone sees things that way. A petition titled “KEEP SUNSHINE GIRLS AS WOMEN NOT TRANNIES” originated at the white supremacist internet forum Stormfront (as noticed by Toronto Standard) and has so far gained a staggering 30 signatures. Nonetheless, I had a chance to talk with Amelia, who is evidently not bothered by the haters.
VICE: When did you realize that you wanted to live as a transsexual?
Amelia: It was on Halloween, a year and a half ago. I dressed up as a girl, and after I dressed up I started getting attention. I just thought, that’s what I want to be.
How did your friends and family react to the news?
Oh my. I had a problem with my family in the beginning when I told them. Probably for two or three months I had problems. Then after my mother told me: “Well, If you like it, then do whatever you want to do, whatever makes you happy.” So now I have no problems with my family. They are very supportive and my friends are all the same. I have very good friends, and my boyfriend especially. He’s very supportive.
Are your family still in Bangladesh, or do they live here in Canada?
I don’t have any family here in Canada. They’re all back home. Every two or three days I am in contact with my family. My father called me last night. I don’t have any problems with my family.
What’s your relationship with your boyfriend like?
I dressed up as a woman on October 31st in 2011 and I met him in the first week of November, so he knew me as a transvestite. Like, when I was dressed up, but not living as a girl completely. Then we started dating and we have been together for a year and a half now. He already told his family about me and they are OK with it.
We Spoke to a Former Crack Addict About Toronto Mayor Rob Ford
As everyone in Toronto (and now the planet) knows, Mayor Rob Ford has been accused of smoking crack cocaine. There’s apparently video evidence of him getting high while talking shit about Liberal Party leader Justin Trudeau and immigrants. But the world still hasn’t seen that video and Rob has not officially addresed the issue. And while Gawker’s crowd-funded Indiegogo campaign to raise money to buy the iPhone footage from the drug dealers who took it is closing in on its $200,000 goal, they can’t even find the aforementioned drug dealers. On top of all that, Mark Towhey, Robbie’s former chief of staff, was fired for telling him to “get help.”
With all of this insane bullshit clouding Toronto’s municipal politics, we decided to talk to someone who knows firsthand what crack addiction and crack smoking looks like: a former crack addict named Rick. Here’s what he thinks of the allegations against poor ol’ Robbie.
VICE: Like everyone else, you’ve heard the story of Rob Ford’s crack video by now. Do you think the mayor could be a crack smoker?
Rick: If you’re asking my opinion, I suppose it’s possible that he might have tried it, but there is no way he is crack addict. I will go out on a limb and say it is impossible to be a crack addict and maintain any kind of lifestyle, let alone be a mayor. I doubt he’s even a drug addict at all.
Can people smoke crack casually?
No. I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of a casual crack smoker. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but I’ve never heard of it.
Toronto’s Rob Ford, the World’s Greatest Mayor, Smokes Crack
There came a point on Thursday afternoon—after learning that Toronto mayor Rob Ford had taken some time off from an important city-council meeting to wander around a parking lot sticking “Rob Ford” magnets to cars—that I figured it would be time to update you about the ongoing saga that is Robbie’s intoxicated reign over the Kingdom of Toronto. Way back when, before the already infamous crack-cocaine scandal of May 2013, the magnet controversy of 24 hours earlier didn’t seem so important. That is, of course, until Gawker broke the story that some guy, somewhere, has a video of King Robbie smoking crack from a glass pipe. And the footage is for sale. Until someone buys it, you can always watch the Taiwanese CGI reenactment.
Gawker—who have decided that this is not an “alleged” or “supposed” crack-smoking incident, given that they’ve got a graphic that reads “Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Smokes Crack” on their homepage—have caused a major firestorm for King Robbie the First in the City of Toronto. The Toronto Star, an ungrateful and petulant organization that is hell-bent on taking down the mayor, has viewed the tape “three times” but was clearly too cheap to buy it and stream it for the royal subjects of the Rob Ford empire. Plus, according to them, they saw this video on May 3. Why keep all this crack-smoking mayhem a secret? And what kind of incompetent blackmail-video salesman is behind this controversy? How can you mess up on monetizing such a golden piece of footage? One must assume they’re ready to let it go at fire-sale prices right now.
Toronto Just Fired the Greatest Mayor of All Time
Toronto has had a very exciting 24 hours. Last night, our Canadian football team won the Grey Cup. This morning, we fired our 64th mayor: Rob Ford. Over here at the VICE Toronto office, we fell in love with this amiable, clumsy, fat drunk guy early on. It was love at first laugh, after he chased a reporter out of City Hall forcalling him a “fat fuck.” We understand that this is the same guy who was arrested for a DUI in Florida while he was riding dirty with a bag of weed, and yes, ol’ Rob may or may not have threatened to kidnap his own children, but he was our kidnapping, reckless driving, weed loving mayor.
Inevitably, Rob’s downfall came from his one tragic flaw: a love of high school football. Yes, Rob coached a high school football team in Etobicoke called the Don Bosco Eagles, and those little fuckers took Rob down. All the trouble really started when Rob started writing letters asking for donations to the Don Bosco Eagles using"official letterhead and other city resources," which caused some people over at City Hall to find this swinging of mayoral dick to be a massive conflict of interest. When Rob was on trial to defend his solicitation of football donations, the prosecution argued that ol’ Ford was "willfully ignorant" of breaking Toronto’s Conflict of Interest Act. Despite all the haters, Rob Ford continued to use his mayoral powers to make things easier on Etobicoke’s finest high school football players. Earlier this month, two Toronto Transit buses were emptied so that they could go and pick up Rob’s football team. Rob claims it was all a misunderstanding. He said that the buses were diverted to stop a fight between the two teams playing that day, a fight that Rob blamed on the opposing team’s coach, and honestly, we believe him entirely.
Rob Ford exhibiting his sweet moves on the gridiron.
The best part about Rob’s storied reign as Toronto’s supreme ruler, is that the laughs just didn’t seem to ever want to stop. Remember when he had to pee at a CFL game and accidentally walked into the Calgary Stampeders’ locker room at half-time? Presumably drunk as fuck? Or how about this past summer, after thehorrifyingly tragic shooting on Danzig St. in Scarborough, when Rob ordered the deportation of “white, pink, or purple” people?
We’ll always remember Rob Ford as a man of the people, who always had time for his loyal subjects. One very lucky mother and daughter got to see Rob in person, while he was obviously on an important call pertaining to official city business, as he was talking on his cell phone and driving. The mother, a concerned citizen, warned the mayor of the dangers of driving while talking on a cell phone. Rob, understandably bothered, flipped off the nosey woman who was driving with her six year old daughter. He had to teach that mother and daughter a hard lesson about Rob’s personal immunity to safe driving laws, and we’re sure they’re better off for it.
Another snoopy citizen spotted Rob Ford reading while he was driving. This concerned stick-in-the-mud tweeted a photo of Rob watching his paperwork instead of the road, and it caused a bit of a stir. Rob Ford calmly explained to the press that he was "probably busy" and fully admitted to reading and driving. When else is the guy gonna read? He’s only going to be on the can for so many hours in a day.
Robbie reading in the whip.
Tough love driving lessons aside, Rob was always looking out for the well being of Toronto’s citizens. Six months before he was elected mayor, Rob suggested that one of his constituents, a guy named Dieter who was complaining about health problems, "score" some OxyContin "on the street." Rob claims he was just trying to get out of an awkward phone conversation by suggesting that Dieter should go and buy some drugs illegally, to help fix Dieter’s chronic pain. Perfectly understandable behaviour for a mayoral candidate.