Should the FDA Regulate Sex Toys?
It’s the most wonderful time of year—the time when we jam a bunch of random crap in an oversized sock in hopes that the person we love will sleep with us. Family members aside, nothing quite says I care like sex toys, right? Whether it’s a vibrator for your eternally single roommate or a cock ring for the dude you pork on the reg, sex toys stuff stockings (and other things) in all the right ways.
Except when they’re toxic. Nobody wants anaphylactic shock for Christmas, but the Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC) estimates an average of 2,100 sex toy-related emergency room visits a year. Getting off just became pretty high stakes.
On the whole, sex toys hang out in regulatory limbo. The FDA only pays attention to them if they fall under the category of medical devices, which means the tiny handful of vibrators that are presented as therapeutic massagers. It’s the manufacturer’s decision to classify their toys as therapeutic or not, so the majority of vibrators—not to mention all other sex toys—elude the FDA’s gaze.
Everything comes from vaginas… and from China, in today’s world of free (unregulated) trade. Put ‘em together and you’ve got va-China, a birth canal lubed with chemical toxins and prisoners’ blood, endlessly popping out cars, TVs, toys, and all kinds of other products that overpopulate our storage spaces and attention spans. We Americans are addicted to mass crap, cheeseburgering on into 99 cent stores by the dirty dozen to inhale these bargain items. Recently I spotted some adorable va-Chinese kids’ shoes with a label that said, “These shoes have chemicals in them that may cause cancer.”
In truth, reports have found that about a third of the products for kids from this country “may cause cancer.” Stuffing in a lot of these va-Chinese plush toys contains serious carcinogens, and the latest craze in possibly toxic snuggles comes from a company in Hong Kong called Jay at Play. Let’s have a look the hottest line of combo monster mash-up items, “blankets that are puppets,” aka CuddleUppets!