America Runs on Anal: Pornhub’s New Study Proves Americans Love Watching Butt Stuff
Do you jack off to creampie porn? Do you spend your evenings busting nuts as you watch fellas slide slimy wet ones up ladies’ and/or other fellas’ backsides? Does the thought of an anal prolapse make you hard like a 13-year-old witnessing Britney Spears’s “… Baby One More Time” music video for the first time?
According to Pornhub, for many people the answer to these questions is a resounding yes.
Pornhub Insights, the smut giant’s data department, recently conducted a study about Americans’ anal porn consumption. For several weeks, the team examined Pornhub users’ searches. The research unearthed important facts, like which state’s users likes asses the most and how much American Pornhub viewers like ass in comparison with other countries (only Russians likes butts more than we do). For funsies, Pornhub also looked into how much countries that America has invaded—like Iraq and Afghanistan—use Pornhub to watch booty sex.
Afterwards, the Nate Silver of porn created these exclusive graphs for VICE to reveal the findings. (All terms in the graphs were found in users’ search results.)
The results may surprise you—and also get you very, very hard.
Have You Watched Our Profiles Series Yet?
In our attention-deficit throw-away society, very seldom is there room for the little guy (or gal) to say their piece in the spotlight. Our new series, Profiles by VICE, aims to change that. Profiles by VICE is a weekly distillation of our eccentric and idiosyncratic world. In each episode we take an intimate look at issues, people, and communities that burrow deep into the underbellies of society.
If this piques your interest—and we can’t see why it wouldn’t, unless you’re one of those humans who’s not interested in other humans, in which case we don’t know what to tell you other than, “Get your head out of your ass”—watch the series trailer here, and check out this handy episode guide:
- Slut-Shaming Preacher: We travel to Arizona to meet up with campus preacher Brother Dean Saxton, a student at the University of Arizona, whose “You Deserve Rape” sign has caused outrage among the student body.
- An Inside Look at the Exotic Animal Trade: We travel to Ohio to rescue a cougar, then to Texas for an exotic livestock auction and undercover visit to a gaming ranch where the animals are sold and hunted for up to $15,000 a piece.
- Reserection: The Penis Implant: We travel to Miami (obviously) to speak to one of the leading penis doctors in the country and find out what it scosts to get your penis operated on.
- My Homie Sells Homies: We travel to New York City’s forgotten borough, Staten Island, to find out how a guy named Sugarman created a small vending-machine empire—and how he subsequently lost it, one quarter at a time.
- Blind Gunslinger: We travel to North Dakota to meet Carey McWilliams, the first completely blind person in the US to acquire a concealed-carry permit.
- Prison, Bling Ring, and Redemption: We travel to Los Angeles and talk to Alexis Neiers about her struggles with addiction, her criminal involvement in the real-life Bling Ring, and her new life as a sober mother.
- Teenage Bullfighters: We travel to Merida, on Mexico’s Yucatán Peninsula, to meet Michelito Lagravere, who at 14, became the youngest bullfighter ever.
Profiles by VICE airs every Monday on VICE.com.
Simon Ostrovsky is back in eastern Ukraine.
Watch our latest dispatch here.
In this dispatch, Simon Ostrovsky tells the story of his abduction in eastern Ukraine, his days in captivity, and why he thinks he was targeted by “mayor” Ponomarev.
Watch on VICE News.
Munchies: Momofuku Toronto
We headed to Toronto, Canada to hang with the Momofuku crew, the thriving American restaurant brand impressively stretching its wings into Canada in the midst of a burgeoning Toronto food scene, complete with pressed duck, lobster mac & cheese, and a giant whole rib eye.
"Place is fucked. No one is allowed there for a reason. Don’t ever go."
We went to Snake Island, which is exactly what it sounds like: An island off the coast of Brazil that’s full of deadly snakes who can “liquefy your insides” with one bite.
Watch Snake Island, Part 1
Apocalypse, Man: Part 2
In Episode two, Michael C. Ruppert talks fracking, police militarization, and Occupy. Then he has a jam session with his bandmate, Doug Lewis, and his singing dog, Squishy.