I Had a Food Fight with a Food Fetishist
My initial plan was a series of interviews. I would talk to a few different people about their obscure fetishes in an effort to find out what exactly was so hot about a woman sitting on you as if you were a chair or knowing someone needs to pee or smooshing a birthday cake with your ass while wearing fancy underwear.
The range and variety of activities and objects that gets people off fascinates me: What exactly is sexy about a fat lady sitting on you, and why does it have to be a fat lady? Is age-play exactly what it sounds like (pedophilia-lite)? Could I find someone who was intoaxillism to explain that time with that guy where it seemed like he was going to try to push my limbs together and go to town on my armpit?
I thought, in the age of a million subreddits and Google Hangout groups exclusively for adult babies, this would be a cakewalk—everyone can meet anyone via the internet, right? While it was certainly easy to find options for interview subjects, reputation proved a problem, as many people associate VICE with mockery and judgment. Then there was also the issue that I associate meeting weirdos through the internet with getting murdered. So, basically, when I factored out people who didn’t want to speak to me and factored in those I was sure weren’t murderers, I was left with Stephen, a 38-year-old social worker who likes custard. Like, like likes it.