How to Get Laid at the Gym
By Brian Moylan. Photos by Ben Ritter.
It’s only January 2 and your New Year’s resolution is already screwed. Look at you, bumming cigarettes from your friends, having just one toke before you go to work, and huffing glue in the bathroom like no one is going to notice when you walk back to your desk with heavy lids and a faintly chemical smell about you. Well, I’m here to help.
One of the most common resolutions (after always remembering to take your birth control pills and not texting your ex at 3 AM) is losing weight and going to the gym more often. But no one really wants to do that. Cupcakes taste so good and a Game of Thrones marathon is way more inviting than a bunch of crazy-looking machines that make you contort your body like a monkey at the circus. But what if you could get laid every time you went to the gym? It’s possible. Every time. Here are some tips.