What was your first reaction when you heard the name “Dick Wolf?”
A dangerous person. Wolves and dicks are dangerous. The man matches up to his name. When you meet him, he’s a big guy. He looks like he’d sit at the head of a table at a mob meeting or something. He’s very serious. Thank god for Dick Wolf. His checks clear, I don’t have nothin’ to say bad about that guy. In this business, if you have one powerful executive that likes you, he can basically help your life. Dick Wolf has bought me a lot of cars, paid for a lot of vacations… I ain’t mad at the dude.
The Greatest Summer Jam Since 1980, Round 2
Hello, internet. It’s us, your friends at Noisey. We decided to determine the greatest summer jam since 1980, tournament style. After a Round One that was tabulated by our resident goofball Luke Winkie, we decided to open the tournament up to voting from a panel of elite Internet Explorers and mage-level Netscape Navigators so that we might bring a sense of professionalism and objectivity to such a precise and scientific quest.
Because what is a “summer jam,” anyways? Is it a song that dominated the summer it was released in? Is it a song that only sounds good when it’s over 85 degrees out? Verily, nay. The summer jam is an ineffable beast; a riddle wrapped inside of an enigma wrapped inside a hook so obvious and dumb that whoever wrote them invariably deserves a MacArthur Genius Grant. It’s nostalgic but somehow casts an eye towards a better future. It’s not necessarily sexual, but when deployed correctly, the summer jam makes everyone within earshot a minimum of 10% sexier.
Some housekeeping before we get to the winners: Last round, people on the internet complained that lots of these songs didn’t come out in the summer, and that the songs we picked from the 80’s were arbitrary and that we left out actual genuine summer jams from the era. To these notions, we scoff. The summer jam is about living in the now; it doesn’t matter when a summer jam was released as long as it truly and unequivocally jams in the summer. In the galaxy of the summer jam, the past only exists to mine from so that your summer of now may shine brighter. Destroy your idols. Fuck Don Henley’s “The Boys of Summer.” The Ataris’ version is better, anyways.
All your favorite Noisey writers wrote about their favorite summer jams. (Mine’s “Big Pimpin’”.)
We Were Nominated for an Emmy
Not sure if you’ve heard, but we’ve got a show on a little network called HBO. It’s called VICE and in it we’ve carried on our time-honored tradition of telling insane and uncomfortable stories from hot zones all over the globe. In our first season, we reported on everything from the gun violence in Chiraq to the killer kids of the Taliban in Kabul. We’re not trying to gloat or anything, but everyone seems to dig it—we’re even in the running for an Emmy. Yeah, we just got nominated for an award in the Outstanding Documentary or Nonfiction Series category. It’s pretty cool that people are up on it. We’re not stressing or anything. It’s not a big deal. But let’s be honest, if we don’t get that award we’re going Ol’ Dirty Bastard on the Emmys and snatching that statuette from whoever has their grubby hands on it. Everyone knows, VICE is for the children.
Our founderShane Smith was so hyped on the nomination that he had a few words to share:
"It makes all the dysentery worthwhile, was my first thought when we found out that we had been nominated. My second was, a bunch of dirtbags from Brooklyn finally make good. We are insanely stoked and a little bit stunned to be nominated in our virgin season, and really have to thank HBO for giving us the creative freedom to make the show we wanted. We also have to thank the viewers who gave us so much support even when crazy shit went down (drunken karaoke dance-offs with the world’s most terrifying and unknown dictator). Most of our crew are now in the field shooting season two, but on their behalf and on behalf of all of us here at VICE, we want to say “thank you.” There’s only love.”
If you haven’t watched VICE, check out this clip from episode one.